Since my last post has been over a year ago all of the above have taken my interest away from writing. A little bit of me was not sure about my writing and I am still a little leery about sharing my ramblings. Especially with so many bloggers out there who make this their passion and truly make a mark in the blogging world.
Life is a very interesting thing with many distractions. Work, play, poker, relationships, and whatever else takes your mind off of reality for a while. I have done all of these and still haven't found my comfy place in the world of the divorced men's group in this city.
So what's a guy to do to feel their worth and live the best they can within the city? This is where you can speak up now.
I have been thinking too much about where my future lies lately though. From an outside perspective there are many different possibilities I could look into to change my future. But right now I need to be here and see this path I am on right now through until I know I am at a dead end.
Will I be back to blogging? Yes. Frequently? No. So bear with me because I am a radically infrequent blogger.
Maybe next time something a little more personal or funny. I just have to get back into the swing of all this again.
Ciao for now
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, January 31, 2011
How Quickly a Life Can Change
I have been thinking long and hard about a close friend who has been going through a very rough and stressful time right now.
She is usually a strong and vibrant person who can handle anything. And from the outside looks like she has all her shit together. And recently found out she was pregnant and was very happy to share the news with everyone.
Well the worst of all things happened and she started to bleed, and throughout the day eventually lost the poor little life that was growing inside her.
This brings about some questions that have been racing through my head. Yes even I have periods of deep thought and contemplation.
So why is it when you have a very happy event happen in your life, does the opposite reaction have to happen to even out the "ying and yang" in our lives? Why can't happy things happen over and over? It seems like that is very unfair to have to have this balance in our lives. We deserve more like %80 positive and %20 negative so we can feel like were getting ahead in life.
Is this too much to ask? Is that greedy of us to want to have more positive than negative? Does this have to do with some "Secret" that we don't know about like in the movie with the same title? I don't know about you but I tried to apply the thoughts and ideas in that movie and that didn't help at all. In fact that's when the worst of the stuff in my life happened.(You will have to read way back to older posts to see what that was)
So in this even 50/50,"ying & yang" theory my friend then has to have an amazing bit of good luck coming to her that should last her til she reaches 80 years old. Right? Because one of the worst experiences in our adult lives has to be losing a child.
Which brings me to my last point. I have been trying to think of something to say to her that means that my heart goes out to her and that I understand the pain she is going through. And to express that all needs something more. Something that has a bigger and deeper emphasis on how important it is that she understands I am here along with everyone else to help her through this dark period.
But all I can think of is "sorry". A word that has a simple meaning and doesn't really have much punch or pizazz to it. It is sort of an indifferent word to me that doesn't have the deep meaning that needs to be conveyed. But I guess it has to do for now.
While she is going through this very dark day, I am sure all her friends and family hope she has good health and gets the peace and rest she needs to get through this hard time. I know we are all sending her our best wishes.
Ciao for now
She is usually a strong and vibrant person who can handle anything. And from the outside looks like she has all her shit together. And recently found out she was pregnant and was very happy to share the news with everyone.
Well the worst of all things happened and she started to bleed, and throughout the day eventually lost the poor little life that was growing inside her.
This brings about some questions that have been racing through my head. Yes even I have periods of deep thought and contemplation.
So why is it when you have a very happy event happen in your life, does the opposite reaction have to happen to even out the "ying and yang" in our lives? Why can't happy things happen over and over? It seems like that is very unfair to have to have this balance in our lives. We deserve more like %80 positive and %20 negative so we can feel like were getting ahead in life.
Is this too much to ask? Is that greedy of us to want to have more positive than negative? Does this have to do with some "Secret" that we don't know about like in the movie with the same title? I don't know about you but I tried to apply the thoughts and ideas in that movie and that didn't help at all. In fact that's when the worst of the stuff in my life happened.(You will have to read way back to older posts to see what that was)
So in this even 50/50,"ying & yang" theory my friend then has to have an amazing bit of good luck coming to her that should last her til she reaches 80 years old. Right? Because one of the worst experiences in our adult lives has to be losing a child.
Which brings me to my last point. I have been trying to think of something to say to her that means that my heart goes out to her and that I understand the pain she is going through. And to express that all needs something more. Something that has a bigger and deeper emphasis on how important it is that she understands I am here along with everyone else to help her through this dark period.
But all I can think of is "sorry". A word that has a simple meaning and doesn't really have much punch or pizazz to it. It is sort of an indifferent word to me that doesn't have the deep meaning that needs to be conveyed. But I guess it has to do for now.
While she is going through this very dark day, I am sure all her friends and family hope she has good health and gets the peace and rest she needs to get through this hard time. I know we are all sending her our best wishes.
Ciao for now
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Dating - Crazies need not apply!
Ok so now your single and looking to see what other options are out there for you. You do the Plenty of Fish thing. Maybe E Harmony or maybe even try to connect to the alternative lifestyles of Fetlife.com.
But what is the first thing that runs through your head as soon as you meet that person?
Hey he/she has a nice ass? They are so pretty? Am I attractive enough for them? Can I do better than this?
No I think the first thing you think about after a relationship/divorce is very primal and simple.
Is this person in any way shape or form like my ex? I will drive this car straight into a wall if they remind me of him/her.
Well welcome to your nightmare.
Finding similarities in people that you date with that of your ex is gonna happen and you have to learn to accept that. And as long as it isn't anything like bodily harm (unless asked for...wink wink) the little things shouldn't matter.
Then there is the extreme. The major things that made the relationship collapse in the first place need to be closely looked at and determined if they will blow up in your face again.
Here is an example. If your at his/her place and you see a stack of unopened mail. That's an indication that person may have some issues with paying bills.
If they have a fridge or bathroom that is filthy then maybe we have some issues that may require penicillin. Which means be very careful health wise with this person. Ya don't want bedbugs in your rug. Ya got the message?
Is there an unwillingness from them to pay once in a while for things you do? That may be an indication of being cheap and not feeling that your not worth paying for dinner/movie or some other things.
I guess I could go on but you get the point.
So what do ya do? Just suck it up. People will be the same and you will find traits that are similar from your ex. That's human nature.
Just try to avoid stabbing them with an ice pick in the soft part of their skull right on the top and stirring it like your whisking an omlette when you find those traits.
Ciao for now.
But what is the first thing that runs through your head as soon as you meet that person?
Hey he/she has a nice ass? They are so pretty? Am I attractive enough for them? Can I do better than this?
No I think the first thing you think about after a relationship/divorce is very primal and simple.
Is this person in any way shape or form like my ex? I will drive this car straight into a wall if they remind me of him/her.
Well welcome to your nightmare.
Finding similarities in people that you date with that of your ex is gonna happen and you have to learn to accept that. And as long as it isn't anything like bodily harm (unless asked for...wink wink) the little things shouldn't matter.
Then there is the extreme. The major things that made the relationship collapse in the first place need to be closely looked at and determined if they will blow up in your face again.
Here is an example. If your at his/her place and you see a stack of unopened mail. That's an indication that person may have some issues with paying bills.
If they have a fridge or bathroom that is filthy then maybe we have some issues that may require penicillin. Which means be very careful health wise with this person. Ya don't want bedbugs in your rug. Ya got the message?
Is there an unwillingness from them to pay once in a while for things you do? That may be an indication of being cheap and not feeling that your not worth paying for dinner/movie or some other things.
I guess I could go on but you get the point.
So what do ya do? Just suck it up. People will be the same and you will find traits that are similar from your ex. That's human nature.
Just try to avoid stabbing them with an ice pick in the soft part of their skull right on the top and stirring it like your whisking an omlette when you find those traits.
Ciao for now.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Masterbation - Pullin' the Pork !
Well lets try and talk about the thing we all do but don't talk about or say that we do. Hmmmm. You got the parts right? And you never tried it? LIAR. During the teen years I bet there wasn't a time alone when the hands did a little walk around the nether regions for some self support and soothing from that days frustrations.
Lets talk first about the ways we say masturbation. Here we go.
Spank the monkey
Floggin' the dolphin
Playing the slot machine
Shucking the corn
Jerkin the gherkin
Whack a mole
Choking the chicken
Slapping the salami
Pocket Pool
Beat your meat
Whack off
Rub one out
Self texting
Making pants Jam
I can go on and on and on. If you look online you can find a slew of euphemisms for polishing the pawn. And a side note. It is interesting we make the association to food and animals though.
So like I mentioned before people do it in their teens as a soothing measure to help them through their awkwardness and the exploding hormones. It has the same effect when a toddler too. Reports of girls riding the rails of their crib for pleasure were associated with a disruptive home life. So the doctors associate giving self pleasure with soothing ones self. Or the craving for affection or touch or the only way a teenager can turn around his/her day from the daily pressures or fluctuating hormones.
So then we grow up and we find out about battery powered toys for women and flesh-lights for men. Taking the masturbation to another level. Then you might even discover you can have more than one orgasm for men and there is that mystical unicorn they call a g-spot in women. And their friends weren't boasting about having multiple orgasms. And doctors on tv or radio discuss things like partner masturbation. Hell there is an actual International masturbation day. Who knew? Oh yeah I did. LoL.
Then you get to a place in your life where you look at what you have been doing lately and discover not only are you having sex with a partner but you have been stroking the bishop in your spare time? What the heck? Another increase in hormones?
No it is just the case of having sex with your partner and maybe your daily pressures of life has you self soothing yourself. Everyone goes through it and your not alone.
Ok and now this is the part I hate. The religious point of view of polishing the knob. Well in the scripture, I was recently told, these morons write that spilling the seed is immoral and a sin. Well I never believed much in the bible. And I accept all faiths. But that part just doesn't make sense. To give one pleasure is a sin? Guess they were a bunch of sheep herders and they had their flock to keep them warm if ya know what I'm saying. But to say you can't soothe the staff by yourself without it being a sin that you have to confess to the church dude is ridiculous. Maybe they priest should have choked the chicken more. Then the alter boys at some churches would be safe from a greater sin.
In the culture of sex and sexuality it is now more excepted in the western culture to do it. For one reason or another it is okay. If anyone tells you it isn't they need to try it once for themselves and then make the judgment.
So why did I write about this topic in the first place. Well I was asked to write it by a reader of the blog. I hope it lives up to her expectations.
Last thing I have to say that if you don't know how to pleasure yourself then how do you expect someone else to pleasure you.
Ciao for Now
Lets talk first about the ways we say masturbation. Here we go.
Spank the monkey
Floggin' the dolphin
Playing the slot machine
Shucking the corn
Jerkin the gherkin
Whack a mole
Choking the chicken
Slapping the salami
Pocket Pool
Beat your meat
Whack off
Rub one out
Self texting
Making pants Jam
I can go on and on and on. If you look online you can find a slew of euphemisms for polishing the pawn. And a side note. It is interesting we make the association to food and animals though.
So like I mentioned before people do it in their teens as a soothing measure to help them through their awkwardness and the exploding hormones. It has the same effect when a toddler too. Reports of girls riding the rails of their crib for pleasure were associated with a disruptive home life. So the doctors associate giving self pleasure with soothing ones self. Or the craving for affection or touch or the only way a teenager can turn around his/her day from the daily pressures or fluctuating hormones.
So then we grow up and we find out about battery powered toys for women and flesh-lights for men. Taking the masturbation to another level. Then you might even discover you can have more than one orgasm for men and there is that mystical unicorn they call a g-spot in women. And their friends weren't boasting about having multiple orgasms. And doctors on tv or radio discuss things like partner masturbation. Hell there is an actual International masturbation day. Who knew? Oh yeah I did. LoL.
Then you get to a place in your life where you look at what you have been doing lately and discover not only are you having sex with a partner but you have been stroking the bishop in your spare time? What the heck? Another increase in hormones?
No it is just the case of having sex with your partner and maybe your daily pressures of life has you self soothing yourself. Everyone goes through it and your not alone.
Ok and now this is the part I hate. The religious point of view of polishing the knob. Well in the scripture, I was recently told, these morons write that spilling the seed is immoral and a sin. Well I never believed much in the bible. And I accept all faiths. But that part just doesn't make sense. To give one pleasure is a sin? Guess they were a bunch of sheep herders and they had their flock to keep them warm if ya know what I'm saying. But to say you can't soothe the staff by yourself without it being a sin that you have to confess to the church dude is ridiculous. Maybe they priest should have choked the chicken more. Then the alter boys at some churches would be safe from a greater sin.
In the culture of sex and sexuality it is now more excepted in the western culture to do it. For one reason or another it is okay. If anyone tells you it isn't they need to try it once for themselves and then make the judgment.
So why did I write about this topic in the first place. Well I was asked to write it by a reader of the blog. I hope it lives up to her expectations.
Last thing I have to say that if you don't know how to pleasure yourself then how do you expect someone else to pleasure you.
Ciao for Now
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My Last Post
The Child Support topic from the last post got a lot of attention. So I want to leave it for now and let people comment and learn from each other one more day. Thanks for those who gave feedback.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
New Beginnings
So I have taken some time out from blogging getting my life back to some semblance of order out of the chaos of the last year and a bit. Now is the time to start new.
It is quite a mind bending experience going through a separation and divorce. You think about everything that had gone wrong and what you could have done more to make it work.
The conclusion I have made out of all of this is you can make all the effort you want but if one of you in the relationship isn't giving their full effort than it is doomed for failure.
Also you as an individual try to place the blame on the other person. You think you did all that you could and the other person didn't make an effort. Took the easy way out. And all the other excuses you can think of.
Then you actually go through the thought process about all the things you did wrong and how you were the failure in the relationship. And that takes some time to get through those thoughts.
Like it or hate it both of you screwed it up. One could have done worse that the other sure. But it's how you got to that spot in the first place.
Once all that has been computed then your ready to start your life again. It has to be one of the worst trips through your own being one can take.
I believe if you hadn't taken this trip through your brain and continue on like nothing wrong ever happened then you haven't learned anything and every relationship after that will be doomed to fail.
Yeah this is just my thoughts but I hope they helped.
Ciao for Now
It is quite a mind bending experience going through a separation and divorce. You think about everything that had gone wrong and what you could have done more to make it work.
The conclusion I have made out of all of this is you can make all the effort you want but if one of you in the relationship isn't giving their full effort than it is doomed for failure.
Also you as an individual try to place the blame on the other person. You think you did all that you could and the other person didn't make an effort. Took the easy way out. And all the other excuses you can think of.
Then you actually go through the thought process about all the things you did wrong and how you were the failure in the relationship. And that takes some time to get through those thoughts.
Like it or hate it both of you screwed it up. One could have done worse that the other sure. But it's how you got to that spot in the first place.
Once all that has been computed then your ready to start your life again. It has to be one of the worst trips through your own being one can take.
I believe if you hadn't taken this trip through your brain and continue on like nothing wrong ever happened then you haven't learned anything and every relationship after that will be doomed to fail.
Yeah this is just my thoughts but I hope they helped.
Ciao for Now
Monday, August 23, 2010
I'm Back
So this is it. I am back online for now.So lets tell the story of how I got back online.
I called our local Internet provider and got a lovely lady service representative. At that time she asked every question under the sun and tried to up sell every service they offer. Good on her. That's her job right? After all the questions she tells me she will have a service dude come out and install everything and that will be it. Right? As you guessed it because I am writing about it. No. it always has to be more complicated.
A few days later I get a call from this same representative from the local internet dudes again. Strange yes. And she asked a few more questions about this and that and then we said our goodbye's. For those who haven't had this happen to you take note and be wary of it happening to you.
Now I expected this to take a few days to get a ring back for the appointment. I didn't realize I had to wait a week. Yes a week. I still didn't get a call. I called them. You know this isn't good at all.
I get this nice guy on the phone and ask him where my courtesy phone call was for the technician to come and grace me with the internet service. There was silence on the other end. I could hear very faintly the sound of vigorous fingers typing on a keyboard.I'm thinking "shit, what now".
He finally says " It appears that they didn't put the work order in to get your services". WHAT? Can you believe the nerve of that woman! She took all my information and didn't get the work order in? Isn't that her job? And this being Calgary I am sure she gets asked 100 times a day for these services.
Well that is yet another example how we in Calgary experience bad service and are expected to put up with it. From waiters or waitresses through to people in your own work maybe. Service is lacking here and we just allow it to happen.
I say if they are in a business that involves service then don't tip or tell their immediate supervisor and get them in shit. Why should you let anyone else suffer the same shitty service as you. If they didn't take the time to give you the service you deserve than fuck'em. They don't deserve to work at that job.
That's my two cents.
Ciao for now
I called our local Internet provider and got a lovely lady service representative. At that time she asked every question under the sun and tried to up sell every service they offer. Good on her. That's her job right? After all the questions she tells me she will have a service dude come out and install everything and that will be it. Right? As you guessed it because I am writing about it. No. it always has to be more complicated.
A few days later I get a call from this same representative from the local internet dudes again. Strange yes. And she asked a few more questions about this and that and then we said our goodbye's. For those who haven't had this happen to you take note and be wary of it happening to you.
Now I expected this to take a few days to get a ring back for the appointment. I didn't realize I had to wait a week. Yes a week. I still didn't get a call. I called them. You know this isn't good at all.
I get this nice guy on the phone and ask him where my courtesy phone call was for the technician to come and grace me with the internet service. There was silence on the other end. I could hear very faintly the sound of vigorous fingers typing on a keyboard.I'm thinking "shit, what now".
He finally says " It appears that they didn't put the work order in to get your services". WHAT? Can you believe the nerve of that woman! She took all my information and didn't get the work order in? Isn't that her job? And this being Calgary I am sure she gets asked 100 times a day for these services.
Well that is yet another example how we in Calgary experience bad service and are expected to put up with it. From waiters or waitresses through to people in your own work maybe. Service is lacking here and we just allow it to happen.
I say if they are in a business that involves service then don't tip or tell their immediate supervisor and get them in shit. Why should you let anyone else suffer the same shitty service as you. If they didn't take the time to give you the service you deserve than fuck'em. They don't deserve to work at that job.
That's my two cents.
Ciao for now
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
OFFLINE
I will be offline and trying to get back when I get internet in my new residence. I will try and post stuff as soon as I can for you all.
Ciao for Now
Ciao for Now
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Being a Camera Guy
So because I was asked so nicely, I am writing this post about being a camera guy for Breakfast Television in Calgary. The highs and the lows.
So I wake up every week day at 4 am and get my ass to work for 4:30. There We get prepared for that days show.. Depending on the show, there might be more or less work.
Some days we get in stars that come through Calgary doing comedy acts at local clubs or maybe doing a gala fundraiser. It all depends on what that star is trying to promote.
Most days it is the same type format. Fashion, make up, cooking, and current events. You can watch and see it all. Also they are targeting it to women twenty five to forty five with two point three kids. The kind of young woman who is the typical housewife.
Next we all clean up after the show and have a meeting about what were doing the next day.
Then after that I have to chase ambulances. Which means I go after all the news that goes on in Calgary. That means fires,murders,bodies found in the river,stabbings,and any official opening or ceremony that happens.
Is it dull? Some days it is. The busy days are not the best days. They usually involve really bad things that happen to people in the city. Yes the busy days are when all hell breaks loose and we as camera persons have to go cover it. Floods,hail,car accidents.
So is it exciting? Yes. But it keeps the memories with you for a long while. I drive by places remember events that have happened there. It's really crazy I know but these events stick with you.
So that's about it and my job. It always is portrayed more exciting than it actually is.
That's it.
Ciao for Now
So I wake up every week day at 4 am and get my ass to work for 4:30. There We get prepared for that days show.. Depending on the show, there might be more or less work.
Some days we get in stars that come through Calgary doing comedy acts at local clubs or maybe doing a gala fundraiser. It all depends on what that star is trying to promote.
Most days it is the same type format. Fashion, make up, cooking, and current events. You can watch and see it all. Also they are targeting it to women twenty five to forty five with two point three kids. The kind of young woman who is the typical housewife.
Next we all clean up after the show and have a meeting about what were doing the next day.
Then after that I have to chase ambulances. Which means I go after all the news that goes on in Calgary. That means fires,murders,bodies found in the river,stabbings,and any official opening or ceremony that happens.
Is it dull? Some days it is. The busy days are not the best days. They usually involve really bad things that happen to people in the city. Yes the busy days are when all hell breaks loose and we as camera persons have to go cover it. Floods,hail,car accidents.
So is it exciting? Yes. But it keeps the memories with you for a long while. I drive by places remember events that have happened there. It's really crazy I know but these events stick with you.
So that's about it and my job. It always is portrayed more exciting than it actually is.
That's it.
Ciao for Now
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
SEX RANT !
So what kind of sexual person are you? And what does your flavor and appetite say about you? Is it even important to you anymore?
Well lets talk about the first topic shall we. Sex and what type of sexual person are you? Are you the one who likes to hold hands and maybe give a peck on the lips while walking in the park? Or are you the type to tell that partner your walking with how fun it would be to come back and have sex on the park bench?
We all get caught up in what kind of sexual person we are and what our comfort levels are when it comes to it. To talk about having sex on the bench at night in the park doesn't make you weird or different from everyone else just makes you adventurous. Trying to keep the spice of the relationship going while trying different things. Good on ya because he/she might be really into it. Also if he/she wants to do that stuff you might be in with a super freak that will make all your dirty little thoughts come true. Or make them want to run right out into traffic. You have to be the judge.
If your the type who can only peck the person your with on the lips in public your alright and there is nothing wrong with you either. There are a lot of people who would rather be sexual dynamo's in the bedroom and be reserved in the public eye. They are the ones people say "He/she was such a quiet person". Serial killer quiet. But when your alone with the person they turn into the porn king/queen that likes to do stuff that would make Larry Flint blush. Stuff in your mind that might actually make you go blind.
So how does this relate to your flavor. I have heard the term "vanilla" meaning straight up intercourse. So what do the other flavors represent? Well lets make it up as we go. So chocolate could mean the obvious and having sex with a brown or black person. Then there is strawberry. So maybe that means being with a ginger person. Either that or having sex during a menstrual cycle. And what about blueberry? Well that could mean that your having sex while watching the Smurfs or with a smurf.
It doesn't matter what flavor you are as long as your not hurting anyone. Unless they ask for that. But really we don't have to put these labels on it and just have fun with the one we can relate to the most and the best fit mentally and physically.
Ciao for now
Well lets talk about the first topic shall we. Sex and what type of sexual person are you? Are you the one who likes to hold hands and maybe give a peck on the lips while walking in the park? Or are you the type to tell that partner your walking with how fun it would be to come back and have sex on the park bench?
We all get caught up in what kind of sexual person we are and what our comfort levels are when it comes to it. To talk about having sex on the bench at night in the park doesn't make you weird or different from everyone else just makes you adventurous. Trying to keep the spice of the relationship going while trying different things. Good on ya because he/she might be really into it. Also if he/she wants to do that stuff you might be in with a super freak that will make all your dirty little thoughts come true. Or make them want to run right out into traffic. You have to be the judge.
If your the type who can only peck the person your with on the lips in public your alright and there is nothing wrong with you either. There are a lot of people who would rather be sexual dynamo's in the bedroom and be reserved in the public eye. They are the ones people say "He/she was such a quiet person". Serial killer quiet. But when your alone with the person they turn into the porn king/queen that likes to do stuff that would make Larry Flint blush. Stuff in your mind that might actually make you go blind.
So how does this relate to your flavor. I have heard the term "vanilla" meaning straight up intercourse. So what do the other flavors represent? Well lets make it up as we go. So chocolate could mean the obvious and having sex with a brown or black person. Then there is strawberry. So maybe that means being with a ginger person. Either that or having sex during a menstrual cycle. And what about blueberry? Well that could mean that your having sex while watching the Smurfs or with a smurf.
It doesn't matter what flavor you are as long as your not hurting anyone. Unless they ask for that. But really we don't have to put these labels on it and just have fun with the one we can relate to the most and the best fit mentally and physically.
Ciao for now
Monday, July 19, 2010
Stampede is Over Time to Blog
So the craziness of the Stampede is over for another year. All the lights on the rides have been turned off. The cowboy hats and boots put away for another year. And the mini donuts and beer are turning into a memory.
So what does this all mean for the average joe working day to day in this city of Stampede sin?
Well it's time to wrap up any business. Which means dealing with what happened at Ranchman's that night with that certain Stampede fling. Or not. Figuring out how to detox your body to adjust back into the work schedule of daily life. Trying to deal with the fact that debauchery and beer is done for yet another year.
Let's talk about the Stampede fling for a moment. Divorce lawyers love the Stampede. It has a huge impact on their business level within a month of Stampede finishing. Either because he/she has been caught in some incriminating photo that can't be explained. Or a text is found that seems very inappropriate. Or the fling turns out to be more and continues on to become a serious affair. Ultimately it ends the same way and off to the lawyers you go. On to the next oil bunny who wants to land a man that can take care of her.
If the Stampede can create so much sin why aren't the churches protesting it like PETA or Humane society does? Are they a part of the secret society of the Stampede and get more followers after the park has closed? Flooding their pews to be absolved of the sin that they had brought upon themselves? In hopes that if they make peace with it that it never happened? Or is there a bigger plot there?
Let's look at that for a moment. Gambling is a sin according to the local bishop here and he has been very vocal about the fact that a school can't even have a Bingo to raise money for their school. Yet when this yearly event comes along he doesn't say anything. Does he go on vacation and in his mind it's outta sight and outta mind so it really didn't happen? Or is he a part of a bigger plot against his own flock? Maybe a local large donation by an unknown donor that makes it's way into the churches coffers? The bishop knows there are a few things that happen during Stampede. Drinking,adultery,gambling,and coveting thy neighbors wife. Like how I pulled that one out of my hat? So that means looking at the ladies in a lewd and sexual mindset. So why hasn't he said anything against all the sin?
Am I against the Stampede? No. If people could enjoy the events that surround the biggest outdoor show on earth and not succumb to their desires and fall into the drunken, horny, people ogling idiots, we could have an event that makes everyone proud to be a part of. But it usually turns into the den of sin we all know and love to be a part of because it brings so many crazy stories. And yes there will be stories. Human nature can't help itself and the need to share with the co workers what they had seen at the company party takes over and for weeks the rumors fly around about the people who had messed around that night or the person who got so drunk they couldn't stand and eventually puked on their bosses shoes.
Don't get me wrong I enjoy the Stampede events and think it can be a great time for a single man/woman or family that is looking for some fun in the city. Great pancake breakfasts and music that everyone can enjoy. Stampede rides and rodeo events that test the metal of cowboys/cowgirls. All great fun.
So in closing I guess what I am saying is if we take the time to think before we act then the sins of the Stampede won't happen. We take the time to think that I really shouldn't drink another beer. I shouldn't try and dance with that person looking at me. Or I shouldn't put my tongue down this persons throat because we just met and I have a significant other. The gambling I can understand. Sorry Bishop Henry tough sell there to a non catholic. But the mind get s fuzzy as time goes by through the year. And as the next years Stampede gets closer the thoughts of what could happen at the next ten days of debauchery start to dance in their head like it's Christmas in July. And the cycle repeats itself. Because after all were human and temptation is hard to turn down when you have ten Bud in your gut and she has been eying your big buckle all night. Just like in the "Lion King", it's the circle of life.
Ciao for now
So what does this all mean for the average joe working day to day in this city of Stampede sin?
Well it's time to wrap up any business. Which means dealing with what happened at Ranchman's that night with that certain Stampede fling. Or not. Figuring out how to detox your body to adjust back into the work schedule of daily life. Trying to deal with the fact that debauchery and beer is done for yet another year.
Let's talk about the Stampede fling for a moment. Divorce lawyers love the Stampede. It has a huge impact on their business level within a month of Stampede finishing. Either because he/she has been caught in some incriminating photo that can't be explained. Or a text is found that seems very inappropriate. Or the fling turns out to be more and continues on to become a serious affair. Ultimately it ends the same way and off to the lawyers you go. On to the next oil bunny who wants to land a man that can take care of her.
If the Stampede can create so much sin why aren't the churches protesting it like PETA or Humane society does? Are they a part of the secret society of the Stampede and get more followers after the park has closed? Flooding their pews to be absolved of the sin that they had brought upon themselves? In hopes that if they make peace with it that it never happened? Or is there a bigger plot there?
Let's look at that for a moment. Gambling is a sin according to the local bishop here and he has been very vocal about the fact that a school can't even have a Bingo to raise money for their school. Yet when this yearly event comes along he doesn't say anything. Does he go on vacation and in his mind it's outta sight and outta mind so it really didn't happen? Or is he a part of a bigger plot against his own flock? Maybe a local large donation by an unknown donor that makes it's way into the churches coffers? The bishop knows there are a few things that happen during Stampede. Drinking,adultery,gambling,and coveting thy neighbors wife. Like how I pulled that one out of my hat? So that means looking at the ladies in a lewd and sexual mindset. So why hasn't he said anything against all the sin?
Am I against the Stampede? No. If people could enjoy the events that surround the biggest outdoor show on earth and not succumb to their desires and fall into the drunken, horny, people ogling idiots, we could have an event that makes everyone proud to be a part of. But it usually turns into the den of sin we all know and love to be a part of because it brings so many crazy stories. And yes there will be stories. Human nature can't help itself and the need to share with the co workers what they had seen at the company party takes over and for weeks the rumors fly around about the people who had messed around that night or the person who got so drunk they couldn't stand and eventually puked on their bosses shoes.
Don't get me wrong I enjoy the Stampede events and think it can be a great time for a single man/woman or family that is looking for some fun in the city. Great pancake breakfasts and music that everyone can enjoy. Stampede rides and rodeo events that test the metal of cowboys/cowgirls. All great fun.
So in closing I guess what I am saying is if we take the time to think before we act then the sins of the Stampede won't happen. We take the time to think that I really shouldn't drink another beer. I shouldn't try and dance with that person looking at me. Or I shouldn't put my tongue down this persons throat because we just met and I have a significant other. The gambling I can understand. Sorry Bishop Henry tough sell there to a non catholic. But the mind get s fuzzy as time goes by through the year. And as the next years Stampede gets closer the thoughts of what could happen at the next ten days of debauchery start to dance in their head like it's Christmas in July. And the cycle repeats itself. Because after all were human and temptation is hard to turn down when you have ten Bud in your gut and she has been eying your big buckle all night. Just like in the "Lion King", it's the circle of life.
Ciao for now
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Technology
Well this week has been a cluster trying to get my computer back online to post blogs.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out there were roadblocks everywhere.So here is what happened.
So my friend sent me the new Microsoft Windows 7 professional and I installed it and thought that was good. I backed everything up and it all worked perfectly. So I thought.
First problem is my friend also sent me the new CS5 creative suite for my video editing at home for the commercials and everything I need to do for extra work. It is truly an amazing package with ten programs including Photoshop 5, Premiere Pro 5, and After Effects 5. Then seven other programs I don't think I will ever use but good to have and might need them in the future.
Well the install went perfectly. Where is the problem you ask? Well when I installed it all but two programs installed. Of course they were the ones I needed. It turns out I was running my windows at a 32 bit and for a home system that is just fine. But the editing program and after effects needs to run on a 64 bit system. ARG!
There is the problem. I tried to install the 64 bit windows 7 and the problems start there. Over and over I got error messages saying I couldn't install it because I my operating system was already at 32 bit and it couldn't load it in. Well duh! That's why I was trying to make it a 64 bit. Work with me here. Obviously this box with microchips didn't realize what the hell I was trying to do. Over and over again I tried everything my limited knowledge of technical stuff will allow. This stupid box wasn't getting it. This was for it's own good and it was resisting the knowledge upgrade. Like an idiot I tried over 2 hours to get this stupid thing to accept it's fate for being faster and more intelligent. Like a moron that won't accept the knowledge to make him a genius and run as fast as Ben Johnson on steroids. And off we go to see the tech friend of mine to get it to work.
Sounds easy eh? Well of course it does. Until you factor into it that I live in Calgary. Yup as every Stampede time there are the odd weather variances in the area. So time to travel about twenty kilometers up to the north east to visit my tech friend. At this particular time the skies decided to open up and the rain started. Then the wind picked up. Then the wrath of god descended from the heavens and created complete chaos for southern Alberta. We got rain and lightning and tennis ball sized hail in some ares of the city. The seven horsemen of the apocalypse would have been impressed.
After my thirty minute drive through the heavenly downpour I arrived to the house. At this time the storm reach my destination. And yes I was trapped in my truck with an electrical appliance that doesn't do well with water and or hail plummeting from the sky at the speed of paint balls.So I had to wait for fifteen minutes to enjoy the heavenly wrath upon the wicked and unclean.
I eventually made it out and into the house and we proceeded to the work bench. It took all of two seconds for him to figure it out. FRACK! If I knew it was as easy as starting up the computer with the 64 bit disk in the hard drive I would have done it and saved the $80 and done all the upgrades myself.
So when I got back home everything worked great and life goes on.
When did our lives get so complicated we can't see the easiest solutions for the most complicated situations? Well this is what we should take with us as the life lesson to get through the tough decisions in our lives.K.I.S.S. Or keep it simple stupid. The simplest solutions are right in front of your face to see. Take the blinders off and see it.
Ciao for now.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out there were roadblocks everywhere.So here is what happened.
So my friend sent me the new Microsoft Windows 7 professional and I installed it and thought that was good. I backed everything up and it all worked perfectly. So I thought.
First problem is my friend also sent me the new CS5 creative suite for my video editing at home for the commercials and everything I need to do for extra work. It is truly an amazing package with ten programs including Photoshop 5, Premiere Pro 5, and After Effects 5. Then seven other programs I don't think I will ever use but good to have and might need them in the future.
Well the install went perfectly. Where is the problem you ask? Well when I installed it all but two programs installed. Of course they were the ones I needed. It turns out I was running my windows at a 32 bit and for a home system that is just fine. But the editing program and after effects needs to run on a 64 bit system. ARG!
There is the problem. I tried to install the 64 bit windows 7 and the problems start there. Over and over I got error messages saying I couldn't install it because I my operating system was already at 32 bit and it couldn't load it in. Well duh! That's why I was trying to make it a 64 bit. Work with me here. Obviously this box with microchips didn't realize what the hell I was trying to do. Over and over again I tried everything my limited knowledge of technical stuff will allow. This stupid box wasn't getting it. This was for it's own good and it was resisting the knowledge upgrade. Like an idiot I tried over 2 hours to get this stupid thing to accept it's fate for being faster and more intelligent. Like a moron that won't accept the knowledge to make him a genius and run as fast as Ben Johnson on steroids. And off we go to see the tech friend of mine to get it to work.
Sounds easy eh? Well of course it does. Until you factor into it that I live in Calgary. Yup as every Stampede time there are the odd weather variances in the area. So time to travel about twenty kilometers up to the north east to visit my tech friend. At this particular time the skies decided to open up and the rain started. Then the wind picked up. Then the wrath of god descended from the heavens and created complete chaos for southern Alberta. We got rain and lightning and tennis ball sized hail in some ares of the city. The seven horsemen of the apocalypse would have been impressed.
After my thirty minute drive through the heavenly downpour I arrived to the house. At this time the storm reach my destination. And yes I was trapped in my truck with an electrical appliance that doesn't do well with water and or hail plummeting from the sky at the speed of paint balls.So I had to wait for fifteen minutes to enjoy the heavenly wrath upon the wicked and unclean.
I eventually made it out and into the house and we proceeded to the work bench. It took all of two seconds for him to figure it out. FRACK! If I knew it was as easy as starting up the computer with the 64 bit disk in the hard drive I would have done it and saved the $80 and done all the upgrades myself.
So when I got back home everything worked great and life goes on.
When did our lives get so complicated we can't see the easiest solutions for the most complicated situations? Well this is what we should take with us as the life lesson to get through the tough decisions in our lives.K.I.S.S. Or keep it simple stupid. The simplest solutions are right in front of your face to see. Take the blinders off and see it.
Ciao for now.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Old Flings are New Again
This is an interesting question that was brought up last week. Can old flings or girl/boy friends come around again and things work out the second time around? Well I guess we should take a look at my example of my old girlfriend and see what we can make of this query.
So as I wrote before everything with my old girlfriend got messed up and complicated and we broke up. But ever since we have been good friends and always had a bond there.The question then arises. Could the second time around then be better?
Well like any relationship you think about it a lot. And if one fails you think about how did it go so wrong and was any of it your fault. Of course these thoughts went through my head when om relationship fell apart with my old girlfriend. You think what did I do or didn't do. Was I paying enough attention to her or not enough. Did I put in the effort that was needed to keep it new and fresh. And maybe the biggest question of all is "Was she the one?".
Of course there is the other side of the coin as well. What happened? Why did she not do this or that? If I have to leave the seat down why can't you leave the seat up? Or look before you sit.Or maybe did she pay enough attention to me or too much and was smothering.
Of course all good questions and now whats the right answer? Well I think that with time comes the answers for every question. You think and rethink about what happened and it has to be better the second time around. As long as you have the right mindset to try and do it right the second time around. Or if you have the maturity to understand what it is that you need to do to make it work this time round.
So now that's as clear as mud. Right? Let us recap.
No if you don't have the maturity or the knowledge of what went wrong in the first place.
Yes if you learned from it and do want it to work so bad you have aches deep down in your heart. You know what needs to be done this time and will work at it harder.
So you see the answer lies with you and how much work and dedication you are willing to put into it. If your not wiling to put everything into it you have then don't waste her or your time.
I guess that's all for friendly advice.
Ciao for now
So as I wrote before everything with my old girlfriend got messed up and complicated and we broke up. But ever since we have been good friends and always had a bond there.The question then arises. Could the second time around then be better?
Well like any relationship you think about it a lot. And if one fails you think about how did it go so wrong and was any of it your fault. Of course these thoughts went through my head when om relationship fell apart with my old girlfriend. You think what did I do or didn't do. Was I paying enough attention to her or not enough. Did I put in the effort that was needed to keep it new and fresh. And maybe the biggest question of all is "Was she the one?".
Of course there is the other side of the coin as well. What happened? Why did she not do this or that? If I have to leave the seat down why can't you leave the seat up? Or look before you sit.Or maybe did she pay enough attention to me or too much and was smothering.
Of course all good questions and now whats the right answer? Well I think that with time comes the answers for every question. You think and rethink about what happened and it has to be better the second time around. As long as you have the right mindset to try and do it right the second time around. Or if you have the maturity to understand what it is that you need to do to make it work this time round.
So now that's as clear as mud. Right? Let us recap.
No if you don't have the maturity or the knowledge of what went wrong in the first place.
Yes if you learned from it and do want it to work so bad you have aches deep down in your heart. You know what needs to be done this time and will work at it harder.
So you see the answer lies with you and how much work and dedication you are willing to put into it. If your not wiling to put everything into it you have then don't waste her or your time.
I guess that's all for friendly advice.
Ciao for now
Friday, July 2, 2010
It's Your Say!
I have been deciding lately what People want to hear. There has been issues with some that say I shouldn't be candid and diary like in the blogs. Some say the posts are personal and they feel uncomfortable reading the blog.
What do you think? I want to know how the past posts make you feel and does it help to communicate these collection of thoughts?
Do you have anything in particular that you would like to read about if you don't want to read personal topics?
This is supposed to be a helpful blog and one of sharing experiences with each other and maybe it can help someone out there that may be going through anything similar that I have written about in the past.
It is hard to decide if this blog is helping people or not. That's why I am asking for your help. Should I just abandon this blog all together and try something else?
Make a comment and tell me what you think.
Ciao for now
What do you think? I want to know how the past posts make you feel and does it help to communicate these collection of thoughts?
Do you have anything in particular that you would like to read about if you don't want to read personal topics?
This is supposed to be a helpful blog and one of sharing experiences with each other and maybe it can help someone out there that may be going through anything similar that I have written about in the past.
It is hard to decide if this blog is helping people or not. That's why I am asking for your help. Should I just abandon this blog all together and try something else?
Make a comment and tell me what you think.
Ciao for now
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My Sick Friend
I can't believe someone has been doing their homework and read all the posts. I did not expect to have a person ask about someone in one of my blogs at all.
So the question came up about the woman I dated that got very sick. Well I am happy to say she is still battling her illness, but its been a tough time for her.
A few weeks back she was told by her "ologist", dunno which one because there are so many, she had to go for a few operations. YUCK. Not the diagnosis we were all hoping for.
First one was to repair and remove a growth in her intestine. If they couldn't do it with the scope they had to go in and do it.
Luckily the operation went well and she had a few weeks to recover and is back at work. She is still pretty sore and has some of the old symptoms still appearing. It is very hard to look at her when she hurts so much.
So the next move for her I guess is an operation to remove a lump in her neck. It should be rather easy to get to. She of course is nervous about that procedure too. As anyone would be.
So for now she is still doing ok and trying to keep a positive attitude about it all.
She contacted me tonight and were going to get together for a beer tomorrow night. I think she needs to vent and so do I. And I think it's about the same thing. No your wrong. It's about work.
CIao for now.
So the question came up about the woman I dated that got very sick. Well I am happy to say she is still battling her illness, but its been a tough time for her.
A few weeks back she was told by her "ologist", dunno which one because there are so many, she had to go for a few operations. YUCK. Not the diagnosis we were all hoping for.
First one was to repair and remove a growth in her intestine. If they couldn't do it with the scope they had to go in and do it.
Luckily the operation went well and she had a few weeks to recover and is back at work. She is still pretty sore and has some of the old symptoms still appearing. It is very hard to look at her when she hurts so much.
So the next move for her I guess is an operation to remove a lump in her neck. It should be rather easy to get to. She of course is nervous about that procedure too. As anyone would be.
So for now she is still doing ok and trying to keep a positive attitude about it all.
She contacted me tonight and were going to get together for a beer tomorrow night. I think she needs to vent and so do I. And I think it's about the same thing. No your wrong. It's about work.
CIao for now.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Unedited story of my seperation !
This has been the hardest story to tell to date. To reveal the ugly truth of what happened to me to get divorced. I sort of feel like I am at a party and a bunch of divorced people are all around trying to top the absolute worst story of how it happened. That has happened to me by the way.And I have no idea why we have a competitive nature about a subject that hurts so much.
So it was last year in January when my ex was working full time as a manager at a local restaurant. She helped open it shortly before and I expected some weird hours.Well there was that indeed and a lot of working at the computer at home and texting going on. I didn't pay much attention to this as I was getting up for work at 4 am and then taking care of the kids when I got home at noon. That's when she would go to work. And then I would put the kids down around 7:30pm. Yup long days.
One day my ex comes home and says she talked to her boss and requested to go to part time without discussing this with me or how that would effect the home income. Yup she did. And later to find out this was to accommodate some cheating hours which she would lie and say she was running errands.
Then the opportunity to do a business trip to Barbados for a week came up and I had to go. And this was in first part of April. And without any argument from her. And no that wouldn't leave her with the kids all that time. A few years previous I agreed to let her ,out of work and money and no ambition to get either, mother move into the basement for free. Yes I'm bitter about that one.
So during that time I was away I later found out she spent a large amount of time with the man, who I was to later find out, was the love of her life. So let's get a good look at this guy. He is a pasty white skinned guy around the same age as me with red hair and glasses. Skinny build and cheesy mustache. Like he is just growing it for the first time. His likes are BBW's, S&M, BDSM, TV/TG/GM, and 27/7 domination. He also likes large rubbery cylindrical ribbed objects inserted in his bottom area while being dominated. Or having it done the old fashioned way by a man while she watched. That's real sharing. If any of these terms are confusing they can be found by just googling the terms. And as for the description of the guy well I got a good look at him in the masturbation video he sent to her. But I am getting ahead of the story.
When I returned she sat me down and said to me that we should take some time alone and live separately and work on our relationship. Cowardly way to say that she has no intention of working on anything and I need to get my crap out and go away.
So I found a place to live for the short term so we can work on us and get to know who we are as individuals, blah, blah,blah, lie ,lie, lie. During this time I had taken the kids every second weekend and on Wednesdays for supper. Plus phone calls and everything.
During one of my visits I had to get a file from the lap top at home. TA DA. The MSN account was open and the email was there. I didn't think of fishing through it until I saw the title of one email called Yes Mistress Kazza. Yup I just said Mistress. That's when I started to fish through the computer to find that she put an ad in Kijiji as a single mother of two looking for fun in January of that year. Then as I went through I found all the emails of men who responded and the pics she sent them. Non nude and then when she warmed up to them they were nude shots. Then the string of emails from this sub who was into objects or persons entering his exit. This included pictures,videos,and letters explaining what the "little bitch" was supposed to do that weekend or he would get s whipping. BTW these are all factual as I still have all the emails, pictures, and videos they sent to each other just in case I might need it later as proof in court.
So this continued for a few months and a trip out to the coast to see him. Which she told me was to see her sister. Then she moved on I later found out to the love of her life #2. Who was just into screwing her and not be seen in public with her. Probably for fear of his wife catching him. Which I heard actually did happen.
Then move into late August and into September. We had been talking about reconciliation and so I decided to take her on a date to the Zoo gala. Great night with a fabulous array of booths for all the taste buds. We had a good time and went home. When we got there she took the dog for a walk while I checked on the kids. When I came down stairs her cell buzzed and lit up as I walked past it. There was a text. From a guy. So I investigated. Earlier in the evening she went to the bathroom and texted Love #2 and asked him "are you horny". And there is where the texting started for that night. I proceeded to drop the phone and walk out. I got into my car and drove off to the place where i was staying. She texted me and joked if I was taking the garbage for a drive(I didn't get the joke either). That's when I texted back "You know what you did". That was the end of the conversation for that evening.
From there on out it had been a constant battle not to do anything physical to her because of the depth of her lies and betrayal. It helped me lose 20lbs in about a month. And I am sure a few more grey hairs.
So from the time I moved out til the official sale of the house I was giving her $2000 a month for the expenses and the kids. Plus her pay. I lived off of $800. That took care of $450 rent. $100 gas. $150 food. Blah,Blah,Blah. She on the other hand managed to rack up all the credit cards and spent $10.5K in two months. And she wasn't paying any bills on time or would send them half. This in turn damaged my credit so bad the bank won't even give me a $500 credit card even though I have now $18K in the same damn bank.
During this time she got my permission to take the kids to Waterloo Ontario to live with the love of her life #3. This was a tough decision for me. But the facts are I don't have family here. They are in Ontario. She would have his family there to help out.The cost of living and public school system is great there. And it's a really nice part of Ontario. I get them for a couple times a year for a weeks stay.
We are now divorced. Or as close as it can be. Just need to have the judge rubber stamp the thing.
That's the whole truth. And was very hard to admit to you the reader. But this is supposed to be therapy and we (you and me) are supposed to open this up for discussion so everyone can learn from this and carry on with life.
I hope this was interesting and helped someone out there that they are not alone.
Ciao for now.
So it was last year in January when my ex was working full time as a manager at a local restaurant. She helped open it shortly before and I expected some weird hours.Well there was that indeed and a lot of working at the computer at home and texting going on. I didn't pay much attention to this as I was getting up for work at 4 am and then taking care of the kids when I got home at noon. That's when she would go to work. And then I would put the kids down around 7:30pm. Yup long days.
One day my ex comes home and says she talked to her boss and requested to go to part time without discussing this with me or how that would effect the home income. Yup she did. And later to find out this was to accommodate some cheating hours which she would lie and say she was running errands.
Then the opportunity to do a business trip to Barbados for a week came up and I had to go. And this was in first part of April. And without any argument from her. And no that wouldn't leave her with the kids all that time. A few years previous I agreed to let her ,out of work and money and no ambition to get either, mother move into the basement for free. Yes I'm bitter about that one.
So during that time I was away I later found out she spent a large amount of time with the man, who I was to later find out, was the love of her life. So let's get a good look at this guy. He is a pasty white skinned guy around the same age as me with red hair and glasses. Skinny build and cheesy mustache. Like he is just growing it for the first time. His likes are BBW's, S&M, BDSM, TV/TG/GM, and 27/7 domination. He also likes large rubbery cylindrical ribbed objects inserted in his bottom area while being dominated. Or having it done the old fashioned way by a man while she watched. That's real sharing. If any of these terms are confusing they can be found by just googling the terms. And as for the description of the guy well I got a good look at him in the masturbation video he sent to her. But I am getting ahead of the story.
When I returned she sat me down and said to me that we should take some time alone and live separately and work on our relationship. Cowardly way to say that she has no intention of working on anything and I need to get my crap out and go away.
So I found a place to live for the short term so we can work on us and get to know who we are as individuals, blah, blah,blah, lie ,lie, lie. During this time I had taken the kids every second weekend and on Wednesdays for supper. Plus phone calls and everything.
During one of my visits I had to get a file from the lap top at home. TA DA. The MSN account was open and the email was there. I didn't think of fishing through it until I saw the title of one email called Yes Mistress Kazza. Yup I just said Mistress. That's when I started to fish through the computer to find that she put an ad in Kijiji as a single mother of two looking for fun in January of that year. Then as I went through I found all the emails of men who responded and the pics she sent them. Non nude and then when she warmed up to them they were nude shots. Then the string of emails from this sub who was into objects or persons entering his exit. This included pictures,videos,and letters explaining what the "little bitch" was supposed to do that weekend or he would get s whipping. BTW these are all factual as I still have all the emails, pictures, and videos they sent to each other just in case I might need it later as proof in court.
So this continued for a few months and a trip out to the coast to see him. Which she told me was to see her sister. Then she moved on I later found out to the love of her life #2. Who was just into screwing her and not be seen in public with her. Probably for fear of his wife catching him. Which I heard actually did happen.
Then move into late August and into September. We had been talking about reconciliation and so I decided to take her on a date to the Zoo gala. Great night with a fabulous array of booths for all the taste buds. We had a good time and went home. When we got there she took the dog for a walk while I checked on the kids. When I came down stairs her cell buzzed and lit up as I walked past it. There was a text. From a guy. So I investigated. Earlier in the evening she went to the bathroom and texted Love #2 and asked him "are you horny". And there is where the texting started for that night. I proceeded to drop the phone and walk out. I got into my car and drove off to the place where i was staying. She texted me and joked if I was taking the garbage for a drive(I didn't get the joke either). That's when I texted back "You know what you did". That was the end of the conversation for that evening.
From there on out it had been a constant battle not to do anything physical to her because of the depth of her lies and betrayal. It helped me lose 20lbs in about a month. And I am sure a few more grey hairs.
So from the time I moved out til the official sale of the house I was giving her $2000 a month for the expenses and the kids. Plus her pay. I lived off of $800. That took care of $450 rent. $100 gas. $150 food. Blah,Blah,Blah. She on the other hand managed to rack up all the credit cards and spent $10.5K in two months. And she wasn't paying any bills on time or would send them half. This in turn damaged my credit so bad the bank won't even give me a $500 credit card even though I have now $18K in the same damn bank.
During this time she got my permission to take the kids to Waterloo Ontario to live with the love of her life #3. This was a tough decision for me. But the facts are I don't have family here. They are in Ontario. She would have his family there to help out.The cost of living and public school system is great there. And it's a really nice part of Ontario. I get them for a couple times a year for a weeks stay.
We are now divorced. Or as close as it can be. Just need to have the judge rubber stamp the thing.
That's the whole truth. And was very hard to admit to you the reader. But this is supposed to be therapy and we (you and me) are supposed to open this up for discussion so everyone can learn from this and carry on with life.
I hope this was interesting and helped someone out there that they are not alone.
Ciao for now.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
When Is Enough Just Enough
OK this is a tough story to tell but I will try and do it justice.
Today I was doing the follow up story about an elderly couple who had gone missing last Thursday after a 91st birthday party. So a full week has gone by and nobody had heard from them or knew where they were. The police were searching all over the place and with their helicopter and everything.
Then early at 7am ish we got a report that the couples car was found and so was some unidentified bodies a few kilometers away. Remember the cops have to inform the next of kin before they identify the bodies to the press.
Off we go. In the truck and driving forty kilometers west of Water Valley.. While were getting close to the destination the road turns into a gravel road about four lanes in some places and well maintained for a gravel road. We then came to an immediate stop where the turn off to the site where the car was located. The road we were on went well into the west. Then we turned down the side strip of a road. It was as wide as the truck and in very rough shape and huge puddles and a sheer drop off on the drivers side when going into the bush. The police said the car went seven kilometers into this mess. In spots the truck I was driving only went ten kms because of the ruts and puddles. They were driving an older sedan which would have been terrible bumpy.
In my mind I can't see the reasoning behind ever taking a car this route unless there was a specific reason to do so. It was a one way ticket.
They found the bodies three kms from the vehicle. This makes it all very confusing to some why they would drive that route. But brings into question of what if?
What if they just went for their final drive together into the deep heart of the woods to finish off their lives together. Let me make this clear right now that the examination to this date of writing has not been released yet to the media and from here on out is just speculation.
So my theory is that they had the party. (they didn't clean up anything from the party)And when everyone left they got into their car and just drove as far out into the woods as they could. They spent the night sitting and talking in the car until the gas ran out. And then they took some medication and walked away from the car. And eventually they both dropped. (They were found thirty meters away from each other). This may have been planned for them to be eventually be dragged off by an animal and never seen again by their families. Which may be because they didn't want to live in pain and they didn't want to be a burdon to their families.
I know it's too early to speculate but that is my theory.
So is it right to give those the choice to take their own lives if their suffering greatly outweighs the alternative?
Tough discussion.
That's it for me
Ciao for now
Today I was doing the follow up story about an elderly couple who had gone missing last Thursday after a 91st birthday party. So a full week has gone by and nobody had heard from them or knew where they were. The police were searching all over the place and with their helicopter and everything.
Then early at 7am ish we got a report that the couples car was found and so was some unidentified bodies a few kilometers away. Remember the cops have to inform the next of kin before they identify the bodies to the press.
Off we go. In the truck and driving forty kilometers west of Water Valley.. While were getting close to the destination the road turns into a gravel road about four lanes in some places and well maintained for a gravel road. We then came to an immediate stop where the turn off to the site where the car was located. The road we were on went well into the west. Then we turned down the side strip of a road. It was as wide as the truck and in very rough shape and huge puddles and a sheer drop off on the drivers side when going into the bush. The police said the car went seven kilometers into this mess. In spots the truck I was driving only went ten kms because of the ruts and puddles. They were driving an older sedan which would have been terrible bumpy.
In my mind I can't see the reasoning behind ever taking a car this route unless there was a specific reason to do so. It was a one way ticket.
They found the bodies three kms from the vehicle. This makes it all very confusing to some why they would drive that route. But brings into question of what if?
What if they just went for their final drive together into the deep heart of the woods to finish off their lives together. Let me make this clear right now that the examination to this date of writing has not been released yet to the media and from here on out is just speculation.
So my theory is that they had the party. (they didn't clean up anything from the party)And when everyone left they got into their car and just drove as far out into the woods as they could. They spent the night sitting and talking in the car until the gas ran out. And then they took some medication and walked away from the car. And eventually they both dropped. (They were found thirty meters away from each other). This may have been planned for them to be eventually be dragged off by an animal and never seen again by their families. Which may be because they didn't want to live in pain and they didn't want to be a burdon to their families.
I know it's too early to speculate but that is my theory.
So is it right to give those the choice to take their own lives if their suffering greatly outweighs the alternative?
Tough discussion.
That's it for me
Ciao for now
Monday, May 31, 2010
Old Flame
Lets talk about someone in the past. I mean really long time ago. So long I am embarrassed to say. Well maybe like fifteen years. Yeah that's about right.
She was a beautiful redhead who was recently divorced and had some kids from the jackass she split from. She had spunk and fire. And was very sensuous.
That was my first foray at seeing a divorced woman. Pretty cool.We had a lot of fun and cared about each other deeply. And then I was gone. Yup I left to pursue a job out in Banff, working in the kitchen of the Banff Springs hotel.
That never sat great with me that I had to go. I always felt trapped in the little town I was living in. Watching other people trapped in the same town and rotting on the local bar stool wallowing away in their own urine stained clothes talking about what they did in their younger days. And that was just the twenty year olds. Yes the infamous trap of a little town that feels all warm and comfy because you know everyone and know everyone. At the same time they all knew you and your business too. But when in that trap you don't even notice the time slipping away and suddenly it's been two years since you have graduated college and you still aren't working in the field of study you took.
So frustrated I made a tough decision and left. Right or wrong I had to get the heck out and see what was in the rest of the world.
Then this little program that you might have heard of called Facebook comes around and all of a sudden everyone who I knew and barely remember are making friend requests. Accept,accept,accept. All of a sudden I have a ton of friends on this little interweb community. And then the day came that "she" found me. Do you remember when someone from your past tries to get to be your friend and you have some doubt because you don't know why they want to be your friend.
It turned out to be ok and we both grew from that time. Her kids all grew up and now I feel old because when I knew them they were just little. But that is a part of growing up I guess.
But what I didn't realize would happen is the old protective feelings towards her. Wanting to take care of her and be there for her to talk to when she is having a bad day. I guess you never really lose that feeling for the ones you cared for and that would be a shame if it did disappear.
So now communication with her is infrequent but there all the same. And we both probe into each others personal life. Making suggestions and feeling for each other when things are bad.
This leaves me at where I am right now. With her being in a great place with a full life. And she looks in on me from time to time.
So what would you have done? Stay because your comfortable in your small little town. Or Leave because you realize it's slowly strangling you to death? Dramatic I know but you get the picture.
Ciao for now.
She was a beautiful redhead who was recently divorced and had some kids from the jackass she split from. She had spunk and fire. And was very sensuous.
That was my first foray at seeing a divorced woman. Pretty cool.We had a lot of fun and cared about each other deeply. And then I was gone. Yup I left to pursue a job out in Banff, working in the kitchen of the Banff Springs hotel.
That never sat great with me that I had to go. I always felt trapped in the little town I was living in. Watching other people trapped in the same town and rotting on the local bar stool wallowing away in their own urine stained clothes talking about what they did in their younger days. And that was just the twenty year olds. Yes the infamous trap of a little town that feels all warm and comfy because you know everyone and know everyone. At the same time they all knew you and your business too. But when in that trap you don't even notice the time slipping away and suddenly it's been two years since you have graduated college and you still aren't working in the field of study you took.
So frustrated I made a tough decision and left. Right or wrong I had to get the heck out and see what was in the rest of the world.
Then this little program that you might have heard of called Facebook comes around and all of a sudden everyone who I knew and barely remember are making friend requests. Accept,accept,accept. All of a sudden I have a ton of friends on this little interweb community. And then the day came that "she" found me. Do you remember when someone from your past tries to get to be your friend and you have some doubt because you don't know why they want to be your friend.
It turned out to be ok and we both grew from that time. Her kids all grew up and now I feel old because when I knew them they were just little. But that is a part of growing up I guess.
But what I didn't realize would happen is the old protective feelings towards her. Wanting to take care of her and be there for her to talk to when she is having a bad day. I guess you never really lose that feeling for the ones you cared for and that would be a shame if it did disappear.
So now communication with her is infrequent but there all the same. And we both probe into each others personal life. Making suggestions and feeling for each other when things are bad.
This leaves me at where I am right now. With her being in a great place with a full life. And she looks in on me from time to time.
So what would you have done? Stay because your comfortable in your small little town. Or Leave because you realize it's slowly strangling you to death? Dramatic I know but you get the picture.
Ciao for now.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Whats Next ?
So it looks like there are people reading my little rants. Well good and welcome. This is where real literature goes to die.
So it seems today i go to my intuition class and the woman who had mislead me at the pool party will be there. Awkward! Oh you don't remember reading about this woman? Let's refresh your memory.
Were at a pool party and getting along good. Were in the pool and rather close. I go get a drink and get distracted by someone talking to me. I return and she's making out with her ex. Short sweet and just the facts.
On the whole,this is going to be so uncomfortable today. Probably for the both of us. She will look at me and I will look at her and never should our eyes meet. And if they do then you have to look away quickly so as not to show interest. Even at this age (38)the same teenage games are played out. Is there a time when this all stops? For the love of god can't she just tell me straight out what happened, instead of keeping this all bottled up and making it uncomfortable for the both of us?
I dislike having those uncomfortable chats don't get me wrong. Whoever is at fault and trying to explain has to open up and bear their selves. This of course leaves them defenceless against any attack and people try to protect themselves and whats inside from the outside world. I guess the common theme is I will let someone in to my life and into my head, a little, but not too deep. If you let them in deep into your head and soul you have nothing left for yourself. Can you share that much?
I would like you to think of the most perfect couple in the world. Could be any couple. Then look at them and ask yourself if they have some of themselves held back a little or did they open up like a book to their partner and shared everything. Their hopes and dreams. Hates and fears. Most embarrassing moment in their lives. Their kinks and fantasies.
Could you open up that much to someone your interested in? Does that take years to let loose all the little facts of your life to find commonality? Or do you just sit down and spill everything at once and watch as the person your telling curls up in a little ball and turns white at all the details. Of course that means they are relating what your saying to their own lives and realizing they might have more screwed up details than you and what then does that make them?
So many questions and so many answers.
I think just let it out as it comes and be honest and if they are scared about how messed up you are then there is the door. This is your life and your living it as best you can.
Ciao for now
So it seems today i go to my intuition class and the woman who had mislead me at the pool party will be there. Awkward! Oh you don't remember reading about this woman? Let's refresh your memory.
Were at a pool party and getting along good. Were in the pool and rather close. I go get a drink and get distracted by someone talking to me. I return and she's making out with her ex. Short sweet and just the facts.
On the whole,this is going to be so uncomfortable today. Probably for the both of us. She will look at me and I will look at her and never should our eyes meet. And if they do then you have to look away quickly so as not to show interest. Even at this age (38)the same teenage games are played out. Is there a time when this all stops? For the love of god can't she just tell me straight out what happened, instead of keeping this all bottled up and making it uncomfortable for the both of us?
I dislike having those uncomfortable chats don't get me wrong. Whoever is at fault and trying to explain has to open up and bear their selves. This of course leaves them defenceless against any attack and people try to protect themselves and whats inside from the outside world. I guess the common theme is I will let someone in to my life and into my head, a little, but not too deep. If you let them in deep into your head and soul you have nothing left for yourself. Can you share that much?
I would like you to think of the most perfect couple in the world. Could be any couple. Then look at them and ask yourself if they have some of themselves held back a little or did they open up like a book to their partner and shared everything. Their hopes and dreams. Hates and fears. Most embarrassing moment in their lives. Their kinks and fantasies.
Could you open up that much to someone your interested in? Does that take years to let loose all the little facts of your life to find commonality? Or do you just sit down and spill everything at once and watch as the person your telling curls up in a little ball and turns white at all the details. Of course that means they are relating what your saying to their own lives and realizing they might have more screwed up details than you and what then does that make them?
So many questions and so many answers.
I think just let it out as it comes and be honest and if they are scared about how messed up you are then there is the door. This is your life and your living it as best you can.
Ciao for now
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