Lets talk about someone in the past. I mean really long time ago. So long I am embarrassed to say. Well maybe like fifteen years. Yeah that's about right.
She was a beautiful redhead who was recently divorced and had some kids from the jackass she split from. She had spunk and fire. And was very sensuous.
That was my first foray at seeing a divorced woman. Pretty cool.We had a lot of fun and cared about each other deeply. And then I was gone. Yup I left to pursue a job out in Banff, working in the kitchen of the Banff Springs hotel.
That never sat great with me that I had to go. I always felt trapped in the little town I was living in. Watching other people trapped in the same town and rotting on the local bar stool wallowing away in their own urine stained clothes talking about what they did in their younger days. And that was just the twenty year olds. Yes the infamous trap of a little town that feels all warm and comfy because you know everyone and know everyone. At the same time they all knew you and your business too. But when in that trap you don't even notice the time slipping away and suddenly it's been two years since you have graduated college and you still aren't working in the field of study you took.
So frustrated I made a tough decision and left. Right or wrong I had to get the heck out and see what was in the rest of the world.
Then this little program that you might have heard of called Facebook comes around and all of a sudden everyone who I knew and barely remember are making friend requests. Accept,accept,accept. All of a sudden I have a ton of friends on this little interweb community. And then the day came that "she" found me. Do you remember when someone from your past tries to get to be your friend and you have some doubt because you don't know why they want to be your friend.
It turned out to be ok and we both grew from that time. Her kids all grew up and now I feel old because when I knew them they were just little. But that is a part of growing up I guess.
But what I didn't realize would happen is the old protective feelings towards her. Wanting to take care of her and be there for her to talk to when she is having a bad day. I guess you never really lose that feeling for the ones you cared for and that would be a shame if it did disappear.
So now communication with her is infrequent but there all the same. And we both probe into each others personal life. Making suggestions and feeling for each other when things are bad.
This leaves me at where I am right now. With her being in a great place with a full life. And she looks in on me from time to time.
So what would you have done? Stay because your comfortable in your small little town. Or Leave because you realize it's slowly strangling you to death? Dramatic I know but you get the picture.
Ciao for now.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Whats Next ?
So it looks like there are people reading my little rants. Well good and welcome. This is where real literature goes to die.
So it seems today i go to my intuition class and the woman who had mislead me at the pool party will be there. Awkward! Oh you don't remember reading about this woman? Let's refresh your memory.
Were at a pool party and getting along good. Were in the pool and rather close. I go get a drink and get distracted by someone talking to me. I return and she's making out with her ex. Short sweet and just the facts.
On the whole,this is going to be so uncomfortable today. Probably for the both of us. She will look at me and I will look at her and never should our eyes meet. And if they do then you have to look away quickly so as not to show interest. Even at this age (38)the same teenage games are played out. Is there a time when this all stops? For the love of god can't she just tell me straight out what happened, instead of keeping this all bottled up and making it uncomfortable for the both of us?
I dislike having those uncomfortable chats don't get me wrong. Whoever is at fault and trying to explain has to open up and bear their selves. This of course leaves them defenceless against any attack and people try to protect themselves and whats inside from the outside world. I guess the common theme is I will let someone in to my life and into my head, a little, but not too deep. If you let them in deep into your head and soul you have nothing left for yourself. Can you share that much?
I would like you to think of the most perfect couple in the world. Could be any couple. Then look at them and ask yourself if they have some of themselves held back a little or did they open up like a book to their partner and shared everything. Their hopes and dreams. Hates and fears. Most embarrassing moment in their lives. Their kinks and fantasies.
Could you open up that much to someone your interested in? Does that take years to let loose all the little facts of your life to find commonality? Or do you just sit down and spill everything at once and watch as the person your telling curls up in a little ball and turns white at all the details. Of course that means they are relating what your saying to their own lives and realizing they might have more screwed up details than you and what then does that make them?
So many questions and so many answers.
I think just let it out as it comes and be honest and if they are scared about how messed up you are then there is the door. This is your life and your living it as best you can.
Ciao for now
So it seems today i go to my intuition class and the woman who had mislead me at the pool party will be there. Awkward! Oh you don't remember reading about this woman? Let's refresh your memory.
Were at a pool party and getting along good. Were in the pool and rather close. I go get a drink and get distracted by someone talking to me. I return and she's making out with her ex. Short sweet and just the facts.
On the whole,this is going to be so uncomfortable today. Probably for the both of us. She will look at me and I will look at her and never should our eyes meet. And if they do then you have to look away quickly so as not to show interest. Even at this age (38)the same teenage games are played out. Is there a time when this all stops? For the love of god can't she just tell me straight out what happened, instead of keeping this all bottled up and making it uncomfortable for the both of us?
I dislike having those uncomfortable chats don't get me wrong. Whoever is at fault and trying to explain has to open up and bear their selves. This of course leaves them defenceless against any attack and people try to protect themselves and whats inside from the outside world. I guess the common theme is I will let someone in to my life and into my head, a little, but not too deep. If you let them in deep into your head and soul you have nothing left for yourself. Can you share that much?
I would like you to think of the most perfect couple in the world. Could be any couple. Then look at them and ask yourself if they have some of themselves held back a little or did they open up like a book to their partner and shared everything. Their hopes and dreams. Hates and fears. Most embarrassing moment in their lives. Their kinks and fantasies.
Could you open up that much to someone your interested in? Does that take years to let loose all the little facts of your life to find commonality? Or do you just sit down and spill everything at once and watch as the person your telling curls up in a little ball and turns white at all the details. Of course that means they are relating what your saying to their own lives and realizing they might have more screwed up details than you and what then does that make them?
So many questions and so many answers.
I think just let it out as it comes and be honest and if they are scared about how messed up you are then there is the door. This is your life and your living it as best you can.
Ciao for now
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Next Chapter
I, as you might have noticed, am an infrequent blogger.
Does this bother you? Do you really care that it's infrequent as long as there is something to read about once a week? I don't know.
Can I keep your attention once a week is the real question. There is going to be grammatical and format errors of course. I am not a writer and don't claim to be one. That takes a lot of hard work and practice at the craft of writing. Do I want to get good at it? No I just want to be able to convey my messages as I can and hope they make sense to you the reader. And yes I do apologize to any professional scribes for the scribbles of a man and his journey through this life.
So that brings me to today's story.
I told you previously about the mystery woman who I love and think she still loves me and the confusion I feel when I am around her and everything. (Go read now if your not familiar)
So I had to see her today and talk about something that has happened at work. Maybe it was just an excuse just to see her. If you knew who I was talking about you would be trying to see her too. Yes even women because she is easy to talk to and she makes you feel good.Hmmmmmmmmm. Yup I'm daydreaming and getting off topic.
There I was and talking about things and she keeps looking into me like she is trying to read what is deep inside my mind and what I am about. I don't mind since we shared so much in the past with each other. I even enjoy it for the simple reason that she is taking the interest to look at me that way. Am I a stalker in the making? No. I don't hang outside her house and see what she's gonna wear to bed or drive past her house like the real stalkers do.
This is the part of the story That I like.
We were done talking and I was about to return to work and she gives me a long loving hug. I know what your gonna say. "How do you know it was loving when I think it may have been creepy?"
Have you ever been hugged and the person doesn't let go and even gets a tighter grip. And in the middle of it they put their head on yours and inhale like they are smelling you for memory sake? Yeah that's what it was like. Nice.
So we went back to work and things felt better from then on today. Like all the irritations of the day were wiped away.
That is my ramblings for today. And I am inspired to try hard to make my blogging more frequent and legible to more than just me. And hopefully with as few run on sentences as possible.
Ciao for now
Does this bother you? Do you really care that it's infrequent as long as there is something to read about once a week? I don't know.
Can I keep your attention once a week is the real question. There is going to be grammatical and format errors of course. I am not a writer and don't claim to be one. That takes a lot of hard work and practice at the craft of writing. Do I want to get good at it? No I just want to be able to convey my messages as I can and hope they make sense to you the reader. And yes I do apologize to any professional scribes for the scribbles of a man and his journey through this life.
So that brings me to today's story.
I told you previously about the mystery woman who I love and think she still loves me and the confusion I feel when I am around her and everything. (Go read now if your not familiar)
So I had to see her today and talk about something that has happened at work. Maybe it was just an excuse just to see her. If you knew who I was talking about you would be trying to see her too. Yes even women because she is easy to talk to and she makes you feel good.Hmmmmmmmmm. Yup I'm daydreaming and getting off topic.
There I was and talking about things and she keeps looking into me like she is trying to read what is deep inside my mind and what I am about. I don't mind since we shared so much in the past with each other. I even enjoy it for the simple reason that she is taking the interest to look at me that way. Am I a stalker in the making? No. I don't hang outside her house and see what she's gonna wear to bed or drive past her house like the real stalkers do.
This is the part of the story That I like.
We were done talking and I was about to return to work and she gives me a long loving hug. I know what your gonna say. "How do you know it was loving when I think it may have been creepy?"
Have you ever been hugged and the person doesn't let go and even gets a tighter grip. And in the middle of it they put their head on yours and inhale like they are smelling you for memory sake? Yeah that's what it was like. Nice.
So we went back to work and things felt better from then on today. Like all the irritations of the day were wiped away.
That is my ramblings for today. And I am inspired to try hard to make my blogging more frequent and legible to more than just me. And hopefully with as few run on sentences as possible.
Ciao for now
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Very Confused
So I have told you about the past year but I did leave one personal item out. Yes it is a woman. This particular person I won't name because she is really special to me. So lets start at the beginning.
It was after my split with my ex that I found myself aware that this woman liked me. With all my baggage and all. So I decided to pursue it. Why not? She is gorgeous and an incredible person on the inside.
So we carried on and had a great time with everything we did. We had it great. Unfortunately she has been sick and getting sicker for the last three years. The doctors don't know what it is and they keep doing tests after tests.
Well things got complicated with the ex and she asked me to try and make amends and try our marriage once again. This was an almost impossible decision. Lose lose for me it seemed. If I continued with the mystery woman I would lose the chance to fix my marriage. If I went with my ex wife I would lose someone I also loved very much. Yes believe it or not you can love two women at the same time. It's crazy.
This was a particularly bad time for the other woman. She was in the hospital and in bad shape and in constant pain. She looked bad and just wanted all the pain to go away. In any way possible.
So on a trip to visit her in the hospital it all came to a head. I walked into her room and she had a lot of tubes and breathing stuff on. She looked very tired and in pain. I was at her bedside when she brought up that we should part ways. This was very heartbreaking to me and I didn't know the reason why she was saying all this. Was it so I didn't have to see her like this? Or some other reason? She knew my feelings for her and in her state and mine, I didn't know quite what to do. I held her hand and kissed it and said my goodbye and left. It was terribly hard. I didn't want to cause her anymore pain that I could see on her face. Both physical or mental. On the way to the car I was an emotional wreck. and wanted to run back up and make her change her mind. But I didn't have to words or mindset to figure out how to do that.
Onward we flash through time where my ex just wanted to use me to get some more money while she screwed around some more with other men. This time we didn't do anything until I was sure all was going to be alright with us. Then I found out what she was doing and walked away.
Then forward all the way to today. The other mystery woman and I have continued to be friends and we express our love for one another through texts and when we meet. I do still love her and she makes me feel alive and loved back.
So she is still sick and going for tests and is fighting the mystery illness. And she has an operation very soon to help some of her symptoms. But she has been very sick and barely able to work. Which brings me to today.
She asked me if I could drive her home because she is sick and I was done work so I obliged. We made small talk there and when we reached her house she turned to me and said we will have an important talk before she goes into surgery. Then I was caught off guard by this and took my sunglasses off and lost all words to say. All I could manage to say was yes and go get some sleep and get better. She went inside and I drove off.
What the hell does that mean? We need to have a talk? This evokes all my emotions and makes me wonder what to do or what it's about.
Do I want her back? Yes. Does she want me back? I don't know. Could it be because she wants to say something very important before she goes into surgery just in case something happens? All these and more questions come to mind as time slips by. And I am sure as days go by the mystery is going to become unbearable and hopes of her wanting me back will inevitably be growing in my mind.
So as I close this chapter of the blog I am still questioning about what may happen with this talk and why now? I do love her and always will. But I guess this means the answer to eight months of wondering will come to an end.
I know this may raise many questions about what I did and what she did will come to mind. It has been going through mine from the time I left the hospital. Generalities are needed in this particular blog for the both of us. But I will continue with the story and let you know in the future what happens.
Ciao for now
It was after my split with my ex that I found myself aware that this woman liked me. With all my baggage and all. So I decided to pursue it. Why not? She is gorgeous and an incredible person on the inside.
So we carried on and had a great time with everything we did. We had it great. Unfortunately she has been sick and getting sicker for the last three years. The doctors don't know what it is and they keep doing tests after tests.
Well things got complicated with the ex and she asked me to try and make amends and try our marriage once again. This was an almost impossible decision. Lose lose for me it seemed. If I continued with the mystery woman I would lose the chance to fix my marriage. If I went with my ex wife I would lose someone I also loved very much. Yes believe it or not you can love two women at the same time. It's crazy.
This was a particularly bad time for the other woman. She was in the hospital and in bad shape and in constant pain. She looked bad and just wanted all the pain to go away. In any way possible.
So on a trip to visit her in the hospital it all came to a head. I walked into her room and she had a lot of tubes and breathing stuff on. She looked very tired and in pain. I was at her bedside when she brought up that we should part ways. This was very heartbreaking to me and I didn't know the reason why she was saying all this. Was it so I didn't have to see her like this? Or some other reason? She knew my feelings for her and in her state and mine, I didn't know quite what to do. I held her hand and kissed it and said my goodbye and left. It was terribly hard. I didn't want to cause her anymore pain that I could see on her face. Both physical or mental. On the way to the car I was an emotional wreck. and wanted to run back up and make her change her mind. But I didn't have to words or mindset to figure out how to do that.
Onward we flash through time where my ex just wanted to use me to get some more money while she screwed around some more with other men. This time we didn't do anything until I was sure all was going to be alright with us. Then I found out what she was doing and walked away.
Then forward all the way to today. The other mystery woman and I have continued to be friends and we express our love for one another through texts and when we meet. I do still love her and she makes me feel alive and loved back.
So she is still sick and going for tests and is fighting the mystery illness. And she has an operation very soon to help some of her symptoms. But she has been very sick and barely able to work. Which brings me to today.
She asked me if I could drive her home because she is sick and I was done work so I obliged. We made small talk there and when we reached her house she turned to me and said we will have an important talk before she goes into surgery. Then I was caught off guard by this and took my sunglasses off and lost all words to say. All I could manage to say was yes and go get some sleep and get better. She went inside and I drove off.
What the hell does that mean? We need to have a talk? This evokes all my emotions and makes me wonder what to do or what it's about.
Do I want her back? Yes. Does she want me back? I don't know. Could it be because she wants to say something very important before she goes into surgery just in case something happens? All these and more questions come to mind as time slips by. And I am sure as days go by the mystery is going to become unbearable and hopes of her wanting me back will inevitably be growing in my mind.
So as I close this chapter of the blog I am still questioning about what may happen with this talk and why now? I do love her and always will. But I guess this means the answer to eight months of wondering will come to an end.
I know this may raise many questions about what I did and what she did will come to mind. It has been going through mine from the time I left the hospital. Generalities are needed in this particular blog for the both of us. But I will continue with the story and let you know in the future what happens.
Ciao for now
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Truth
I guess this is the right time to explain why I am doing this blog stuff. Well I don't really know.
I felt it was time to get all this crap that has happened in my life in the past year out for therapy sake. Yup therapy. I had been calling this guy in Winnipeg for sessions for a while now and he said if I wrote this all down I would feel better or could understand what happened and come to some kind of terms with it.
It seemed kinda cheesy at the time and being the manly guy I am, thought it was a waste of time and energy.
Then a friend of mine said he was blogging and loved it. I immediately didn't believe him either. But he was a friend and this did seem to be similar to what the doctor ordered. And I guess if there is feedback in what I am writing I guess it could help that person too.
Opening a dialogue about the past events, I guess is the key to helping myself. So blogging it is for now until I am told that my writing truly makes people physically sick to their stomachs. As I said before my writing is not going to be in the annals of great Canadian literature. although I would like to take that Margret Atwood down a peg or two. Could you imagine if there were literary awards for blogging. And the room falls silent an the spotlight illuminates the overstated podium where a man with a handlebar moustache and balding head with the faint stench of mothballs approaches with a single white envelope.
"And the Literary award for best blogging nominees are....Pierre Burton, Charlie Farquarson, Cameraguyrob, and Margret Atwood. And the winner is........Cameraguyrob" And the audience falls silent and a collective gasp can be heard and a single pop of bubblegum thunders through the auditorium.
That would be awesome. I'm sure she would send out her minions of man hating fans to Tanya Harding my ass. Or just follow me around and observe me from afar until I am driven crazy enough to hand deliver the award to Margret and apologize for any inkling of a thought that a man could ever live up to the greatness of the suppressed, feminist, literary genius that is Atwood.
A bit too far? I guess it is. But her and her kind still give me the willies. crazy right turn in the writing is over now.
For now this is gonna be my therapy and your thoughts or suggestions are welcome as long as you know I realize I ramble and stumble through this process.
So for now that's it and you now have an understanding why this has come about.
Ciao for now.
I felt it was time to get all this crap that has happened in my life in the past year out for therapy sake. Yup therapy. I had been calling this guy in Winnipeg for sessions for a while now and he said if I wrote this all down I would feel better or could understand what happened and come to some kind of terms with it.
It seemed kinda cheesy at the time and being the manly guy I am, thought it was a waste of time and energy.
Then a friend of mine said he was blogging and loved it. I immediately didn't believe him either. But he was a friend and this did seem to be similar to what the doctor ordered. And I guess if there is feedback in what I am writing I guess it could help that person too.
Opening a dialogue about the past events, I guess is the key to helping myself. So blogging it is for now until I am told that my writing truly makes people physically sick to their stomachs. As I said before my writing is not going to be in the annals of great Canadian literature. although I would like to take that Margret Atwood down a peg or two. Could you imagine if there were literary awards for blogging. And the room falls silent an the spotlight illuminates the overstated podium where a man with a handlebar moustache and balding head with the faint stench of mothballs approaches with a single white envelope.
"And the Literary award for best blogging nominees are....Pierre Burton, Charlie Farquarson, Cameraguyrob, and Margret Atwood. And the winner is........Cameraguyrob" And the audience falls silent and a collective gasp can be heard and a single pop of bubblegum thunders through the auditorium.
That would be awesome. I'm sure she would send out her minions of man hating fans to Tanya Harding my ass. Or just follow me around and observe me from afar until I am driven crazy enough to hand deliver the award to Margret and apologize for any inkling of a thought that a man could ever live up to the greatness of the suppressed, feminist, literary genius that is Atwood.
A bit too far? I guess it is. But her and her kind still give me the willies. crazy right turn in the writing is over now.
For now this is gonna be my therapy and your thoughts or suggestions are welcome as long as you know I realize I ramble and stumble through this process.
So for now that's it and you now have an understanding why this has come about.
Ciao for now.
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Kissing Date
Up to now things have been going well with the new woman that has come into my life. Were talking and texting. But not too much. Ya know the type that text and call too much and by the end of the week she's moving into your place?
Well This weekend was a good start of things to come. We decided to go to grab a bite to eat then she wanted to see Iron Man 2(I couldn't believe it either). And then a trip out to Cochrane to watch a friend of mine perform at a red neck bar. Side note to this. He's black and this is a red neck bar with young wiggers pretending to be something they are not and the occasional skin head. Did I mention my friend is black? So as you can see some nights could be very interesting indeed.
At this point we talk and smile and have a good time. We haven't held hands or kissed. Just hugged at the end of the one date. I am trying this approach to make sure I don't go to fast for her and myself and to respect her as well. I'm not gonna jump all over her the first chance and turn her off. So innocent approach it is.
The bite and the movie were great. We both had a great time. Then this was the part she took the risk on and allowed me to drive her out to Cochrane. For a single woman it is a risk especially when she knows me but not to the point where she should take great risks. I could have easily driven her out to the country and, well you have an imagination.
So the trust factor is there and she comes along to the bar. And when we get there a hand full of townies are in the bar and my friend and the band started the first set. We sit down with my friends girl and the drummers squeeze. Introductions are made and we have a listen to the band. At this moment something truly out of the annals of the memory banks from when I was single pops out. "Well that's a nice ring you got there." While grabbing her hand and observing a fun piece of jewelry on her hand. And I noticed a smile come across her face and she said its a favorite ring of hers. Then I felt a little squeeze and that was it. That simply was when the hand holding started. At that moment she was looking at our hands and then looked up at me and we looked at each other for a moment. Now in nano seconds I imagined every possible scenario of what may happen if I go for the kiss. That includes getting a drink in my lap and a slap across the face and many combinations of the same humiliation. I thought about it. What the hell I thought. I went for it. BINGO> As I was getting close I noticed her eyes start to close and that was the sign I was waiting for and I completed the hard hurdle from friends to a date. Soft and subtle she kissed me back and DING DING DING she actually enjoyed it.
Don't get me wrong here. I have kissed some women while in the first year of my separation, but this was different some how. I respect her as a woman and fellow person in the media realm. I don't want to go to fast and ruin anything that could pop up(insert joke here).
So first base completed and were holding hands. Great start and farther than we went before. And she seems to be comforted at the fact the awkwardness is now gone at when the kiss would come, or is the person a good kisser? And all I can do is beam with how smoothly that went.
A couple of hours later and were still holding hands and she is ready to leave so she can get a fresh start on the next day. And I am pretty beat myself from the weeks work. So we say our goodbye's to everyone and head out. At this point I am happy that everything has gone so smoothly and just have the ride home and to drop her off at her home.
I pull up at her house and put the car in park. Before I am ready she is right there in my face and were kissing again. This time longer and more of it. I am amazed and delighted that she is receptive to it all. And at the end of a nice session of kissing were both feeling like teenagers and we say our good nights and she get out of the car and goes to her door. Of course I wait and watch and make sure she gets inside alright.
All in all a major success. Home run. Bisket in the basket. In the top shelf where your momma hides the cookies. Our team gave one hundred and ten percent. On and on the saying go.
No major problems and everything went disturbingly well. What the hell?
On the way home I am recalling everything from the evening and thoughts are flashing through my head like crazy. Why was it so smooth? What was I doing right? How come something didn't go wrong? Does this sound familiar to you?
We will part ways at this point til I can figure this one out. I am happy everything went good but like others I wonder why it was so easy and why hadn't it been like that for all the other dates in my life.
Til next time. I might have something more interesting than that for you.
Well This weekend was a good start of things to come. We decided to go to grab a bite to eat then she wanted to see Iron Man 2(I couldn't believe it either). And then a trip out to Cochrane to watch a friend of mine perform at a red neck bar. Side note to this. He's black and this is a red neck bar with young wiggers pretending to be something they are not and the occasional skin head. Did I mention my friend is black? So as you can see some nights could be very interesting indeed.
At this point we talk and smile and have a good time. We haven't held hands or kissed. Just hugged at the end of the one date. I am trying this approach to make sure I don't go to fast for her and myself and to respect her as well. I'm not gonna jump all over her the first chance and turn her off. So innocent approach it is.
The bite and the movie were great. We both had a great time. Then this was the part she took the risk on and allowed me to drive her out to Cochrane. For a single woman it is a risk especially when she knows me but not to the point where she should take great risks. I could have easily driven her out to the country and, well you have an imagination.
So the trust factor is there and she comes along to the bar. And when we get there a hand full of townies are in the bar and my friend and the band started the first set. We sit down with my friends girl and the drummers squeeze. Introductions are made and we have a listen to the band. At this moment something truly out of the annals of the memory banks from when I was single pops out. "Well that's a nice ring you got there." While grabbing her hand and observing a fun piece of jewelry on her hand. And I noticed a smile come across her face and she said its a favorite ring of hers. Then I felt a little squeeze and that was it. That simply was when the hand holding started. At that moment she was looking at our hands and then looked up at me and we looked at each other for a moment. Now in nano seconds I imagined every possible scenario of what may happen if I go for the kiss. That includes getting a drink in my lap and a slap across the face and many combinations of the same humiliation. I thought about it. What the hell I thought. I went for it. BINGO> As I was getting close I noticed her eyes start to close and that was the sign I was waiting for and I completed the hard hurdle from friends to a date. Soft and subtle she kissed me back and DING DING DING she actually enjoyed it.
Don't get me wrong here. I have kissed some women while in the first year of my separation, but this was different some how. I respect her as a woman and fellow person in the media realm. I don't want to go to fast and ruin anything that could pop up(insert joke here).
So first base completed and were holding hands. Great start and farther than we went before. And she seems to be comforted at the fact the awkwardness is now gone at when the kiss would come, or is the person a good kisser? And all I can do is beam with how smoothly that went.
A couple of hours later and were still holding hands and she is ready to leave so she can get a fresh start on the next day. And I am pretty beat myself from the weeks work. So we say our goodbye's to everyone and head out. At this point I am happy that everything has gone so smoothly and just have the ride home and to drop her off at her home.
I pull up at her house and put the car in park. Before I am ready she is right there in my face and were kissing again. This time longer and more of it. I am amazed and delighted that she is receptive to it all. And at the end of a nice session of kissing were both feeling like teenagers and we say our good nights and she get out of the car and goes to her door. Of course I wait and watch and make sure she gets inside alright.
All in all a major success. Home run. Bisket in the basket. In the top shelf where your momma hides the cookies. Our team gave one hundred and ten percent. On and on the saying go.
No major problems and everything went disturbingly well. What the hell?
On the way home I am recalling everything from the evening and thoughts are flashing through my head like crazy. Why was it so smooth? What was I doing right? How come something didn't go wrong? Does this sound familiar to you?
We will part ways at this point til I can figure this one out. I am happy everything went good but like others I wonder why it was so easy and why hadn't it been like that for all the other dates in my life.
Til next time. I might have something more interesting than that for you.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
New Beginnings
Here we go again.
It was a typical day where I was to be at work at 4:30am and be at the site where we shoot the live portion of the show by 5:00am. At that point something very interesting happened that would set in motion a chain of events for the day that made my week.
I was met at this gallery entrance by a beautiful 40's something lady,whom I have met before in previous events. On this day she was particularly aglow. And met me with a great smile and I more than a twinge of attraction to her. But I am a late 30's guy and haven't met someone like her before that could possibly be interested in a camera guy. She had an artistic style to her and class.
So I proceeded to set up for the day and save the small talk for when we had down time during the show. Good idea on my part I thought. Keep her happy about the job were doing promoting the exhibit that was currently showing in her gallery and engaging in conversation about the state of the art community around town.
Quickly I was set up and ready to go for the shoot. And then the uncomfortable silence creep ed in. You know the one where you want to say something but it has to be the right thing as to set the tone for the ongoing chat throughout the shoot.
Well it started rather easily as her asking me if I wanted some coffee. Just like that. "Would you like some coffee" is the greatest and easiest gesture that starts of a whole days conversation.From that simple question things started to flow as if I was catching up with an old friend.
Through the morning I glanced at her more than a few times. Well I guess I should describe her a little bit. She is about my height with beautiful long curly dark hair. With a slim build. She also has a very attractive face and doesn't look a bit like her age. By the way won't be mentioned here in respect for her womanly secrets. To say it kindly she looks 10 years younger than what she told me.
Moving on. This way please. Try and stick together and don't fall behind for this is when the good parts of the story begin.
So throughout the morning we exchanged glances and small talk. And for me seems all innocent enough. In my mind she wasn't interested in anything further than just getting through the morning in as pleasant a manner as possible and being a gracious host.
We happened to come to the end of the broadcast and I wrapped up everything and was ready to go. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. I have to bold that as my lowly attempt at a literary punctuation. I told you I wasn't goo at this writing stuff.
Back to the story.
I am just about to leave when she brings up the topic of the ACAD graduating class art show and if I was going. At that point I hadn't had any want or urge to see the over stated and unpolished works of grad students (a little harsh but that's for another article). She stated she was thinking about going and I politely said I might show up if all my work at home (bull sh*t) was done. So I handed her my business card and I was off to finish my shift.
The rest of the day was as per usual. I won't bore you with the details because it takes us on a tangent that you would be bored with.
As I was driving home I received a text from her stating that she added me to her gallery mailing list. Interesting. They usually just add people to their list and let the recipients find out by suprise when the emails start arriving. Kind of her to let me know. Hmmmmmmm. Thinking hard now. Yup she was hot. Bit out of my league though.
In the afternoons I usually have a nap so I can have a regular life at night and not be in bed by 8pm for the next days festivities at work. This works for me and may not work for others.
Interestingly enough I had received twelve emails while napping. And there at 2:29pm was the email I was not expecting at all. It was her once again. But this time she states she has been able to get off work earlier than expected and is going to be attending the art show at ACAD and she might see me there. *BING* Something is amiss here. This isn't adding up. She emailed me just to say she was going to the show. Hmmmm again. I think in woman speak this is a signal that my company would be not refused while strolling amongst the works of the students and indulging in arts speak that is both appreciative and deconstructive of their final masterpieces thus far in their young lives. WOW. Except for the run on sentence it almost seems like I know how to be writer. Though writers will quickly dissect and analyze this smattering of collective thoughts as we did with the art that evening.
Again back to the story.
I looked at my watch to find it was 4pm and the show started at 5 and I hadn't eaten or even close to being ready to impress for this sort of event. With little thought I jumped up and got my act together as fast as I could and out the door I went. Quick stop at ARBY's and into the $8 per day parking stall at the college. This is ridiculous. $8 per day it says on the sign. It's 5pm. Don't you think a reduction in fee is in order? Maybe $4 for the night? Yes, yes,yes I am off topic once again. Ernest Hemingway I am not.
I arrive to find a big crowd has already gathered and have proceeded to stroll through the art. And in my mind I am thinking "What the H E double hockey sticks am I doing here?". And "Please don't talk to me about the art because I don't think I could lie about how much each piece has great meaning". Let's not think I don't have my opinions or have an eye for art. I had in my earlier years dabbled in all forms of art and love the experience of creating a piece from scratch. So yeah I can BS with the best of them but try to not over extend my own knowledge.
Onward into the artistic fray of artistic hopefuls with dreadlocks and home made clothes. By the way this is the first time I realized the 70's porn star moustache in en vogue with the fresh starving artists of today. It takes a brave soul to be able to accept the ridicule of others in silent whispers behind their backs.
I stroll through the first gallery of art and all the while keeping a keen eye out for the familiar face from the morning. Through the well laid out maze I walked at the pace of a zombie looking for a fresh kill. Sort of a shuffle then a pause and a few more shuffles to get to the next piece to critique. Art. Art. Art? Does a picture of roadkill bunny really impress me as a piece of art? Let me state this clearly in my own opinion so it doesn't get confused with anything else in this article. No my young starving artist. A photograph of a bunny that had been run over with it's entrails spilling over the road with a clear tire mark squishing them does not make you even one little bit of an artist. It isn't pleasant subject matter and most importantly would not sell in any gallery that would risk hanging it up on their hooks that are worth more than the thoughtless crud you try and pass on as art But i bet you have a great essay to spew when asked what the inspiration for your piece is. That's just BS ing yourself into thinking your deep when in reality a mouse wouldn't drown in your artistic pool of knowledge. Venting over now back at it.
Where was I. Ah yes back to the art loving zombie shuffle with a careful scan of the crowd for that person from the morning. Shuffling and looking then scanning the crowd. Over and over this goes on. All the while the sinking feeling that this building may be hiding her somewhere in it's bowels so I wouldn't be able to find her.
I exit the first gallery while looking at the brochure to see whats next and when I look up..... Yup you guessed it. She is standing right there in front of me pleasantly dressed with a nice smile on her face looking right at me. I couldn't make this movie style chance meeting up. It actually happened this way.
So we exchanged pleasantries and proceeded through the gallery. Talking and critiquing as we went and having a very good time in doing it. I won't bore you with the minor details of the evening. If you have ever been to a gallery opening then you know what it is like.
So this brings us to what I thought was the end of the night. And then she asked a very intriguing question. " You hungry?". What? Me? Hungry? Huh? The speed at which these questions dashed through my head was like a nano second. She quarried "Have you been to Farm on 17 ave?". I said I had been hungry and no I hadn't been to this restaurant. As easy as that we made the plans to meet there and have something to eat. Still the questions repeated through my head. Little surreal right now.
We both arrive at the restaurant at the same time and proceed in and get a table. Conversation is easy and light and we lose all sense of time. By the time we are done a bottle of wine is empty and a delicious cheese fondue has been had with and apple dessert of two. No hands were touched during this meal. Then the waitress asks us to pay because its closing time. "CRAP". This means just one thing. It's 11:30pm and tomorrow is gonna be trouble getting up for work.
So I pick up the cheque and we walk outside to the corner. At this point I would like to say thank you to the street people for dressing up in their sketchiest clothes and hanging around the corner where her vehicle was parked. Because of this I was able to make an excuse to walk her to her car. This is what your waiting for. We made our polite thanks for the company for the night and both stood there wondering what was the next appropriate move. I said "goodnight" and made the gesture for a hug. Yes I did. This isn't the type of woman you just stick your tongue in her mouth. At this point we both felt awkward and said some other things like text me or something like that but the amount of time that passed was enough for manners to require another hug.Hehehehe. So we did. And to my surprise I felt and heard her take a deep breath as if she was filing my scent into her memory banks.Felt good. Real good. And right.
So I left her there and proceeded to jump into bed as soon as I could because now its 12am and four hours sleep sucks.
Well that's it for now. That's all I'm gonna tell you.........OK. OK. The next day she texted me and said what a good time she had the night before. Fantastic. I like this woman. So I will let you know were going to have the first official date on Saturday. She even picked to go see "Iron Man 2". Believe it or not.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Ciao for now
It was a typical day where I was to be at work at 4:30am and be at the site where we shoot the live portion of the show by 5:00am. At that point something very interesting happened that would set in motion a chain of events for the day that made my week.
I was met at this gallery entrance by a beautiful 40's something lady,whom I have met before in previous events. On this day she was particularly aglow. And met me with a great smile and I more than a twinge of attraction to her. But I am a late 30's guy and haven't met someone like her before that could possibly be interested in a camera guy. She had an artistic style to her and class.
So I proceeded to set up for the day and save the small talk for when we had down time during the show. Good idea on my part I thought. Keep her happy about the job were doing promoting the exhibit that was currently showing in her gallery and engaging in conversation about the state of the art community around town.
Quickly I was set up and ready to go for the shoot. And then the uncomfortable silence creep ed in. You know the one where you want to say something but it has to be the right thing as to set the tone for the ongoing chat throughout the shoot.
Well it started rather easily as her asking me if I wanted some coffee. Just like that. "Would you like some coffee" is the greatest and easiest gesture that starts of a whole days conversation.From that simple question things started to flow as if I was catching up with an old friend.
Through the morning I glanced at her more than a few times. Well I guess I should describe her a little bit. She is about my height with beautiful long curly dark hair. With a slim build. She also has a very attractive face and doesn't look a bit like her age. By the way won't be mentioned here in respect for her womanly secrets. To say it kindly she looks 10 years younger than what she told me.
Moving on. This way please. Try and stick together and don't fall behind for this is when the good parts of the story begin.
So throughout the morning we exchanged glances and small talk. And for me seems all innocent enough. In my mind she wasn't interested in anything further than just getting through the morning in as pleasant a manner as possible and being a gracious host.
We happened to come to the end of the broadcast and I wrapped up everything and was ready to go. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. I have to bold that as my lowly attempt at a literary punctuation. I told you I wasn't goo at this writing stuff.
Back to the story.
I am just about to leave when she brings up the topic of the ACAD graduating class art show and if I was going. At that point I hadn't had any want or urge to see the over stated and unpolished works of grad students (a little harsh but that's for another article). She stated she was thinking about going and I politely said I might show up if all my work at home (bull sh*t) was done. So I handed her my business card and I was off to finish my shift.
The rest of the day was as per usual. I won't bore you with the details because it takes us on a tangent that you would be bored with.
As I was driving home I received a text from her stating that she added me to her gallery mailing list. Interesting. They usually just add people to their list and let the recipients find out by suprise when the emails start arriving. Kind of her to let me know. Hmmmmmmm. Thinking hard now. Yup she was hot. Bit out of my league though.
In the afternoons I usually have a nap so I can have a regular life at night and not be in bed by 8pm for the next days festivities at work. This works for me and may not work for others.
Interestingly enough I had received twelve emails while napping. And there at 2:29pm was the email I was not expecting at all. It was her once again. But this time she states she has been able to get off work earlier than expected and is going to be attending the art show at ACAD and she might see me there. *BING* Something is amiss here. This isn't adding up. She emailed me just to say she was going to the show. Hmmmm again. I think in woman speak this is a signal that my company would be not refused while strolling amongst the works of the students and indulging in arts speak that is both appreciative and deconstructive of their final masterpieces thus far in their young lives. WOW. Except for the run on sentence it almost seems like I know how to be writer. Though writers will quickly dissect and analyze this smattering of collective thoughts as we did with the art that evening.
Again back to the story.
I looked at my watch to find it was 4pm and the show started at 5 and I hadn't eaten or even close to being ready to impress for this sort of event. With little thought I jumped up and got my act together as fast as I could and out the door I went. Quick stop at ARBY's and into the $8 per day parking stall at the college. This is ridiculous. $8 per day it says on the sign. It's 5pm. Don't you think a reduction in fee is in order? Maybe $4 for the night? Yes, yes,yes I am off topic once again. Ernest Hemingway I am not.
I arrive to find a big crowd has already gathered and have proceeded to stroll through the art. And in my mind I am thinking "What the H E double hockey sticks am I doing here?". And "Please don't talk to me about the art because I don't think I could lie about how much each piece has great meaning". Let's not think I don't have my opinions or have an eye for art. I had in my earlier years dabbled in all forms of art and love the experience of creating a piece from scratch. So yeah I can BS with the best of them but try to not over extend my own knowledge.
Onward into the artistic fray of artistic hopefuls with dreadlocks and home made clothes. By the way this is the first time I realized the 70's porn star moustache in en vogue with the fresh starving artists of today. It takes a brave soul to be able to accept the ridicule of others in silent whispers behind their backs.
I stroll through the first gallery of art and all the while keeping a keen eye out for the familiar face from the morning. Through the well laid out maze I walked at the pace of a zombie looking for a fresh kill. Sort of a shuffle then a pause and a few more shuffles to get to the next piece to critique. Art. Art. Art? Does a picture of roadkill bunny really impress me as a piece of art? Let me state this clearly in my own opinion so it doesn't get confused with anything else in this article. No my young starving artist. A photograph of a bunny that had been run over with it's entrails spilling over the road with a clear tire mark squishing them does not make you even one little bit of an artist. It isn't pleasant subject matter and most importantly would not sell in any gallery that would risk hanging it up on their hooks that are worth more than the thoughtless crud you try and pass on as art But i bet you have a great essay to spew when asked what the inspiration for your piece is. That's just BS ing yourself into thinking your deep when in reality a mouse wouldn't drown in your artistic pool of knowledge. Venting over now back at it.
Where was I. Ah yes back to the art loving zombie shuffle with a careful scan of the crowd for that person from the morning. Shuffling and looking then scanning the crowd. Over and over this goes on. All the while the sinking feeling that this building may be hiding her somewhere in it's bowels so I wouldn't be able to find her.
I exit the first gallery while looking at the brochure to see whats next and when I look up..... Yup you guessed it. She is standing right there in front of me pleasantly dressed with a nice smile on her face looking right at me. I couldn't make this movie style chance meeting up. It actually happened this way.
So we exchanged pleasantries and proceeded through the gallery. Talking and critiquing as we went and having a very good time in doing it. I won't bore you with the minor details of the evening. If you have ever been to a gallery opening then you know what it is like.
So this brings us to what I thought was the end of the night. And then she asked a very intriguing question. " You hungry?". What? Me? Hungry? Huh? The speed at which these questions dashed through my head was like a nano second. She quarried "Have you been to Farm on 17 ave?". I said I had been hungry and no I hadn't been to this restaurant. As easy as that we made the plans to meet there and have something to eat. Still the questions repeated through my head. Little surreal right now.
We both arrive at the restaurant at the same time and proceed in and get a table. Conversation is easy and light and we lose all sense of time. By the time we are done a bottle of wine is empty and a delicious cheese fondue has been had with and apple dessert of two. No hands were touched during this meal. Then the waitress asks us to pay because its closing time. "CRAP". This means just one thing. It's 11:30pm and tomorrow is gonna be trouble getting up for work.
So I pick up the cheque and we walk outside to the corner. At this point I would like to say thank you to the street people for dressing up in their sketchiest clothes and hanging around the corner where her vehicle was parked. Because of this I was able to make an excuse to walk her to her car. This is what your waiting for. We made our polite thanks for the company for the night and both stood there wondering what was the next appropriate move. I said "goodnight" and made the gesture for a hug. Yes I did. This isn't the type of woman you just stick your tongue in her mouth. At this point we both felt awkward and said some other things like text me or something like that but the amount of time that passed was enough for manners to require another hug.Hehehehe. So we did. And to my surprise I felt and heard her take a deep breath as if she was filing my scent into her memory banks.Felt good. Real good. And right.
So I left her there and proceeded to jump into bed as soon as I could because now its 12am and four hours sleep sucks.
Well that's it for now. That's all I'm gonna tell you.........OK. OK. The next day she texted me and said what a good time she had the night before. Fantastic. I like this woman. So I will let you know were going to have the first official date on Saturday. She even picked to go see "Iron Man 2". Believe it or not.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Ciao for now
Monday, May 10, 2010
This is Bad Luck
So now were all caught up from last year to present. Everyone I know had a terrible year last year and it didn't even have anything to do with the economy. More personal reasons. Ok I guess some people had financial troubles.
It all happened one night. LoL. Great start for a story eh? But in this case it did.
I was invited to a pool party at the house of the clairvoyant teacher I have been taking classes from. And most of her students were in attendance. I have been sorta interested in a woman that has been in the same class. So of course being at a party with alcohol and a pool that is kept at a beautiful ninety eight degrees....... well you fill in the blanks. No? Ok I'll do it for you.
I am a friendly guy and an ok conversationalist. But when alcohol is involved I am more animated and like to talk and have more confidence. What a suprise. Booze equals confidence.
So KJ (the host of the party) saw me glance at this woman and instantly said " Your single and so is she. You should get to know her".
"Danger Will Robinson, danger". That's a movie reference from "Lost in Space" for those who thought I have just lost it.
Danger indeed. I am there. She is there. And I am still vulnerable. And yes I am a little scared. Come forth Crown Royal and give me the courage to entice yon damsel.
So two drinks in I start to strike up the conversation. And to my suprise she actually had some interest in what I am saying. Yes me. It was hard to believe myself. Not that I have low self esteem but. Well.
Lets back it up a bit and describe her I guess. She is about average height with very pretty eyes and hair. A smile that makes you feel good looking at it. Oh yeah did I mention she was interested in what I had to say and had a heartbeat. No really she is very pretty and I thought out of my league.
So were back to talking and drinking. She is talking to me and were having a pretty good time. And then to a suprise to me she suggested to get into our bathing suits and get in the pool. Well you don't have to ask me twice. Off with the day clothes and into a swim suit as fast as I could. And I was not disappointed when I came out of the bathroom to see her. Yes I was taken aback a bit at the sight of her. This was the second bit of good luck. So off to the pool with the drinks. And to be funny here for a second. Things went swimmingly.
You know how I said that I may jump around with the stories? That's because I have no idea how to write and I am doing this all from just hitting the keys in an order that makes sense to me. So maybe I should apologize to those literary guru's that can write circles around me. But here comes the rest of the story.
I have to back it up once again and give the one little detail that I found out the next day. Another guy who attends the class arrived and yes he is attractive. SUPRISE. They dated.
No at this point I am clueless to this fact and we are having a good time in the pool talking and I have been listening intently. Yes I was. Don't judge me. And even made her drinks.We were getting to know each other and while in the water she was sitting on my knee with my arm around her. Sounds good? Just wait here it comes.
Tall and handsome bad boy type she was seeing ,decided he was also going into the pool too. Can you see where this is going? No? Ok I will fill in the final chapter of this saga.
I recall that I was getting a refill for us both and went into the house. And while making drinks it seems that she and he decided to get talking. And by the time I got back to the pool she and he were close talking. You know that type of close talking that sends the direct signal that I was intruding. So at that time I decided to drop off her drink and make up an excuse that I had to talk to KJ our teacher for a minute. Hoping that the conversation they were having was about closure and they needed their space for five minutes.
So I went inside to give them some space and work it out. Now when I said "IT" I didn't mean "IT". As in his penis. Yup I said PENIS. PENIS,PENIS,PENIS. What a silly sounding word.
So it seems like I was inside for a full two minute when I glanced out the window to see...........yup you guessed it. They were kissing. Kissing and grinding in the pool.
At this point it had just become very apparent to me that this situation has become very uncomfortable.
To put it simply I changed and said my thank you's and left the party with just a little bit of a complex. Bring on the therapy.
So what do you think? Yup. Same as I thought. WTF?
Ok that's the story for today. Come back and try to read the next story without wanting to smash your computer for sheer hatred of what I have done to the english language.
It all happened one night. LoL. Great start for a story eh? But in this case it did.
I was invited to a pool party at the house of the clairvoyant teacher I have been taking classes from. And most of her students were in attendance. I have been sorta interested in a woman that has been in the same class. So of course being at a party with alcohol and a pool that is kept at a beautiful ninety eight degrees....... well you fill in the blanks. No? Ok I'll do it for you.
I am a friendly guy and an ok conversationalist. But when alcohol is involved I am more animated and like to talk and have more confidence. What a suprise. Booze equals confidence.
So KJ (the host of the party) saw me glance at this woman and instantly said " Your single and so is she. You should get to know her".
"Danger Will Robinson, danger". That's a movie reference from "Lost in Space" for those who thought I have just lost it.
Danger indeed. I am there. She is there. And I am still vulnerable. And yes I am a little scared. Come forth Crown Royal and give me the courage to entice yon damsel.
So two drinks in I start to strike up the conversation. And to my suprise she actually had some interest in what I am saying. Yes me. It was hard to believe myself. Not that I have low self esteem but. Well.
Lets back it up a bit and describe her I guess. She is about average height with very pretty eyes and hair. A smile that makes you feel good looking at it. Oh yeah did I mention she was interested in what I had to say and had a heartbeat. No really she is very pretty and I thought out of my league.
So were back to talking and drinking. She is talking to me and were having a pretty good time. And then to a suprise to me she suggested to get into our bathing suits and get in the pool. Well you don't have to ask me twice. Off with the day clothes and into a swim suit as fast as I could. And I was not disappointed when I came out of the bathroom to see her. Yes I was taken aback a bit at the sight of her. This was the second bit of good luck. So off to the pool with the drinks. And to be funny here for a second. Things went swimmingly.
You know how I said that I may jump around with the stories? That's because I have no idea how to write and I am doing this all from just hitting the keys in an order that makes sense to me. So maybe I should apologize to those literary guru's that can write circles around me. But here comes the rest of the story.
I have to back it up once again and give the one little detail that I found out the next day. Another guy who attends the class arrived and yes he is attractive. SUPRISE. They dated.
No at this point I am clueless to this fact and we are having a good time in the pool talking and I have been listening intently. Yes I was. Don't judge me. And even made her drinks.We were getting to know each other and while in the water she was sitting on my knee with my arm around her. Sounds good? Just wait here it comes.
Tall and handsome bad boy type she was seeing ,decided he was also going into the pool too. Can you see where this is going? No? Ok I will fill in the final chapter of this saga.
I recall that I was getting a refill for us both and went into the house. And while making drinks it seems that she and he decided to get talking. And by the time I got back to the pool she and he were close talking. You know that type of close talking that sends the direct signal that I was intruding. So at that time I decided to drop off her drink and make up an excuse that I had to talk to KJ our teacher for a minute. Hoping that the conversation they were having was about closure and they needed their space for five minutes.
So I went inside to give them some space and work it out. Now when I said "IT" I didn't mean "IT". As in his penis. Yup I said PENIS. PENIS,PENIS,PENIS. What a silly sounding word.
So it seems like I was inside for a full two minute when I glanced out the window to see...........yup you guessed it. They were kissing. Kissing and grinding in the pool.
At this point it had just become very apparent to me that this situation has become very uncomfortable.
To put it simply I changed and said my thank you's and left the party with just a little bit of a complex. Bring on the therapy.
So what do you think? Yup. Same as I thought. WTF?
Ok that's the story for today. Come back and try to read the next story without wanting to smash your computer for sheer hatred of what I have done to the english language.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A New Start for the Both of Us Part 2
So where did we leave off?
Ah yes the spending habits of my ex and the fact she spent 10 thousand in three months.
That brings us to the next part of the path to higher understanding that those who you think you know have a lot of secrets.
So the greed of my ex starts to come forth and I start to see how desperate she is to screw every last dime out of me.
We get our lawyers and start our process for the legal seperation. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was learning that my lawyer only did what she was told to do and didn't have an interest for my best interest. Just the quick resolution to the large paper workload that is the legal seperation. So she in fact didn't give any advice to the right path of the legal forest to get a fair shake in the massive debt load that was my married life that my ex was trying to stick me with.
Time out here. Yes it seems like this story is one sided but at the same time I am trying to be sensitive to all the tiny little actions and words that are like the arrows searching for their prey. Inflicting the most amount of pain and outright hatred while wearing a smile as she looks at the carcas bleeding out.
Hmmm I might have a flair for the dramatic in this rant after all. Hehehe
So back to the story.
Now both of us had come to an agreement. She wanted to move the kids to Waterloo with the 3rd love in one year. It all came down to the wire on the day of her moving and I settled with the best interest for the kids.
Now this is when you will ask the question " What the F**K were you thinking to allow that to happen?" . Ok here it goes. All my family is in Ontario. All her family is here. Her new guys family is all there.
She, as I have pointed out earlier, had neglected to pay bills which in turn does a remarkable thing to credit ratings. They disappear. I don't have the credit to get a simple credit card to this day. Yup. I can actually have 20 thousand dollars in the bank but when it comes to ask for a simple 1 thousand dollar credit card they actually look poorly upon this.
So also the simplicity of Waterloo and the lower cost of living and education was a great deal of importance as well and it seemed the best decision for my kids.
So for now they are living there and I call my kids when I can.
My ex on the other hand decided that she wasn't going to work for a year and stay with the kids. Yup. She's taking a year off from working and I have to work my butt off to keep afloat.
According to the courts because she was working part time for the year we were seperated this is legal cause to make the amount of the percentage towards the kids extra curricular activities greatly more in her favor. It actually comes to me paying %76 of all these costs.
The question this leaves me is where is the incentive for her to go back to work and do something constructive. Instead she is spending all her money that could be used to buy herself a new place. Maybe to sort out her head. Be alone for a bit to find herself. But no, that's not gonna happen.
This brings us to the present. I am currently awaiting for the courts to finalize my divorce and be free of this woman. The kids will be visiting soon and I can't wait to see them.
This is a short version of what went on in this year. I didn't tell you the details that would turn your stomach. Wondering what the heck is wrong with her head.
So now you have a synopsis of what I have been through this year. I will be blogging about real things and in the present from now on.
I know what your thinking. This guys thoughts and his writing format is terrible. Well that's what your get when someone who has always been learning different when it comes to english decides to write something. I'm not stupid but the way things appear to be correct format to me doesn't look or read correctly to others. Some days I am suprised I'm not wearing a hockey helmet out of hockey season and riding the special bus.
This is where I leave you for this entry. You know a little of my past year and will try to impress you with witty stories in the future.
Ah yes the spending habits of my ex and the fact she spent 10 thousand in three months.
That brings us to the next part of the path to higher understanding that those who you think you know have a lot of secrets.
So the greed of my ex starts to come forth and I start to see how desperate she is to screw every last dime out of me.
We get our lawyers and start our process for the legal seperation. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was learning that my lawyer only did what she was told to do and didn't have an interest for my best interest. Just the quick resolution to the large paper workload that is the legal seperation. So she in fact didn't give any advice to the right path of the legal forest to get a fair shake in the massive debt load that was my married life that my ex was trying to stick me with.
Time out here. Yes it seems like this story is one sided but at the same time I am trying to be sensitive to all the tiny little actions and words that are like the arrows searching for their prey. Inflicting the most amount of pain and outright hatred while wearing a smile as she looks at the carcas bleeding out.
Hmmm I might have a flair for the dramatic in this rant after all. Hehehe
So back to the story.
Now both of us had come to an agreement. She wanted to move the kids to Waterloo with the 3rd love in one year. It all came down to the wire on the day of her moving and I settled with the best interest for the kids.
Now this is when you will ask the question " What the F**K were you thinking to allow that to happen?" . Ok here it goes. All my family is in Ontario. All her family is here. Her new guys family is all there.
She, as I have pointed out earlier, had neglected to pay bills which in turn does a remarkable thing to credit ratings. They disappear. I don't have the credit to get a simple credit card to this day. Yup. I can actually have 20 thousand dollars in the bank but when it comes to ask for a simple 1 thousand dollar credit card they actually look poorly upon this.
So also the simplicity of Waterloo and the lower cost of living and education was a great deal of importance as well and it seemed the best decision for my kids.
So for now they are living there and I call my kids when I can.
My ex on the other hand decided that she wasn't going to work for a year and stay with the kids. Yup. She's taking a year off from working and I have to work my butt off to keep afloat.
According to the courts because she was working part time for the year we were seperated this is legal cause to make the amount of the percentage towards the kids extra curricular activities greatly more in her favor. It actually comes to me paying %76 of all these costs.
The question this leaves me is where is the incentive for her to go back to work and do something constructive. Instead she is spending all her money that could be used to buy herself a new place. Maybe to sort out her head. Be alone for a bit to find herself. But no, that's not gonna happen.
This brings us to the present. I am currently awaiting for the courts to finalize my divorce and be free of this woman. The kids will be visiting soon and I can't wait to see them.
This is a short version of what went on in this year. I didn't tell you the details that would turn your stomach. Wondering what the heck is wrong with her head.
So now you have a synopsis of what I have been through this year. I will be blogging about real things and in the present from now on.
I know what your thinking. This guys thoughts and his writing format is terrible. Well that's what your get when someone who has always been learning different when it comes to english decides to write something. I'm not stupid but the way things appear to be correct format to me doesn't look or read correctly to others. Some days I am suprised I'm not wearing a hockey helmet out of hockey season and riding the special bus.
This is where I leave you for this entry. You know a little of my past year and will try to impress you with witty stories in the future.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A New Start for the Both of Us
Ok so here we go with this blogging stuff. This will be scattered and quite an experience for both me the writer and you the reader.
I am not a writer so it may seem all over the place in thoughts that run through my head. But lets give it a try.
So this has been the most incredible year of my life. That's not the good meaning of incredible either.
First I went through an ordeal with my ex wife cheating on me while I was out of town on a business trip. Then I found out she was actually doing it months before and had put an add in Kijiji looking for someone for a distraction.
You guessed it. I packed my things and left. Even though I have 2 kids and was very concerned for them I decided that by throwing her out would have been more disruptive in their lives. So I left.
Yes I know that wasn't the bravest thing to do but I had to weigh all my options and finally choose the one that didn't hurt them.
So at this point the question arose whats next. How about having to pay $2000 a month to the ex to make things easier for them til the house sold and the divorce commenced. Let me make this clear that it's a huge amount for me. And since we are disclosing everything and not leaving anything out here's the breakdown. $3800 per month is the take home pay. And $2000 is going to the ex and the kids in the house. That makes $800 for me right? That shouldn't be hard to get by on. Well this is when it gets complicated and the math doesn't work. $450 goes to rent. $200 for food. $100 is for gas. And so the $50 was left for incidentals. Goes fast doesn't it.
So onward. I had moved into an old house with a friend in a cold basement and when we plugged 2 or more things in it would blow a fuse. Great.
Next 8 months goes by and I am living tough and lost 20 lbs. And other things happened during that time that's hard to write about right now but maybe in future blogs it will all come out.
So back to it. 8 months go by and I am in Edmonton with a friend visiting and shopping at the big mall. Then the phone call comes and my roomie tells me that a pipe burst and all my stuff got wet and my room was destroyed and needed to be fully replaced. You guessed it. I have to find a new place to live. And fast.
Luckily that happened and another friend just happened to have room to spare. So the migration started slowly in my Chevy Optra. Not exactly the greatest moving vehicle.
Now here comes the interesting part. It so happens that the ex was spending more money than she was making or receiving at the time. That's not whats so suprising because she has been doing that since I met her. But what is suprising is that she racked up $10 thousand dollars in debt in three months and didn't pay bills and let the creditors start their phone calls to me.
So I come to learn the hard way that when it comes to this woman she always wanted to have what the neighbors had. So when there wasn't anyone to control her spending she just spent it.
Right now I will let this e as far as I write.
I guess this is what they call a cliffhanger and you will have to keep reading in the future to get the whole story. No matter how badly written.
See ya then
I am not a writer so it may seem all over the place in thoughts that run through my head. But lets give it a try.
So this has been the most incredible year of my life. That's not the good meaning of incredible either.
First I went through an ordeal with my ex wife cheating on me while I was out of town on a business trip. Then I found out she was actually doing it months before and had put an add in Kijiji looking for someone for a distraction.
You guessed it. I packed my things and left. Even though I have 2 kids and was very concerned for them I decided that by throwing her out would have been more disruptive in their lives. So I left.
Yes I know that wasn't the bravest thing to do but I had to weigh all my options and finally choose the one that didn't hurt them.
So at this point the question arose whats next. How about having to pay $2000 a month to the ex to make things easier for them til the house sold and the divorce commenced. Let me make this clear that it's a huge amount for me. And since we are disclosing everything and not leaving anything out here's the breakdown. $3800 per month is the take home pay. And $2000 is going to the ex and the kids in the house. That makes $800 for me right? That shouldn't be hard to get by on. Well this is when it gets complicated and the math doesn't work. $450 goes to rent. $200 for food. $100 is for gas. And so the $50 was left for incidentals. Goes fast doesn't it.
So onward. I had moved into an old house with a friend in a cold basement and when we plugged 2 or more things in it would blow a fuse. Great.
Next 8 months goes by and I am living tough and lost 20 lbs. And other things happened during that time that's hard to write about right now but maybe in future blogs it will all come out.
So back to it. 8 months go by and I am in Edmonton with a friend visiting and shopping at the big mall. Then the phone call comes and my roomie tells me that a pipe burst and all my stuff got wet and my room was destroyed and needed to be fully replaced. You guessed it. I have to find a new place to live. And fast.
Luckily that happened and another friend just happened to have room to spare. So the migration started slowly in my Chevy Optra. Not exactly the greatest moving vehicle.
Now here comes the interesting part. It so happens that the ex was spending more money than she was making or receiving at the time. That's not whats so suprising because she has been doing that since I met her. But what is suprising is that she racked up $10 thousand dollars in debt in three months and didn't pay bills and let the creditors start their phone calls to me.
So I come to learn the hard way that when it comes to this woman she always wanted to have what the neighbors had. So when there wasn't anyone to control her spending she just spent it.
Right now I will let this e as far as I write.
I guess this is what they call a cliffhanger and you will have to keep reading in the future to get the whole story. No matter how badly written.
See ya then
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