Ok so now your single and looking to see what other options are out there for you. You do the Plenty of Fish thing. Maybe E Harmony or maybe even try to connect to the alternative lifestyles of Fetlife.com.
But what is the first thing that runs through your head as soon as you meet that person?
Hey he/she has a nice ass? They are so pretty? Am I attractive enough for them? Can I do better than this?
No I think the first thing you think about after a relationship/divorce is very primal and simple.
Is this person in any way shape or form like my ex? I will drive this car straight into a wall if they remind me of him/her.
Well welcome to your nightmare.
Finding similarities in people that you date with that of your ex is gonna happen and you have to learn to accept that. And as long as it isn't anything like bodily harm (unless asked for...wink wink) the little things shouldn't matter.
Then there is the extreme. The major things that made the relationship collapse in the first place need to be closely looked at and determined if they will blow up in your face again.
Here is an example. If your at his/her place and you see a stack of unopened mail. That's an indication that person may have some issues with paying bills.
If they have a fridge or bathroom that is filthy then maybe we have some issues that may require penicillin. Which means be very careful health wise with this person. Ya don't want bedbugs in your rug. Ya got the message?
Is there an unwillingness from them to pay once in a while for things you do? That may be an indication of being cheap and not feeling that your not worth paying for dinner/movie or some other things.
I guess I could go on but you get the point.
So what do ya do? Just suck it up. People will be the same and you will find traits that are similar from your ex. That's human nature.
Just try to avoid stabbing them with an ice pick in the soft part of their skull right on the top and stirring it like your whisking an omlette when you find those traits.
Ciao for now.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
To Pay Or Not To Pay ?
More and more over the last year and a half I have been hearing from women and their experiences with men who won't pay child support when they divorce. And lately I have been hearing it more frequently. Is this an epidemic of assholes out there? Have they found some kind of loophole that I am not aware of? Not that I wouldn't pay. It is only hurting the kids. Right?
In all separation and eventually divorce agreements both parties agree to certain terms and the government has the amount the spouse has to pay all down in a convenient little pamphlet that was handed to me when I entered the process of separation.
So how do these douche bags get out of paying? Maybe because they weren't really men to begin with and are terrible fathers. They don't see how it can hurt the spouse looking for the money to pay for the necessities of everyday living. Same amount as when they were a couple together but just in one or two lump sums per month.
Ok so I will spell it out for you about why they won't pay from a mans perspective without holding back. Turn off NCIS and put the phone on silent and read with the hope you can understand the guys mindset.
1. He's a Super Douche and makes a lot of money and doesn't want to pay a dime because he spent a shitload of money fighting every point during the divorce and wants to lash back. No matter how many parenting after separation courses he takes this D-bag will deny cash to hurt everyone so they hope they feel the pain he went through during the divorce. He also likes the feeling of being in control of the situation and enjoys the frustration it brings his ex. Also this man won't take the kid/s when he's supposed to.
2. He's a Tres Douche and makes a good living and pays a little here and a little there. This sort has a little bit of a conscience about his kids and wants to see them. He makes up stories about his work and the amount he makes and makes a big deal about all the bills he has to pay. He also doesn't want his parents and siblings think he's a douche so he continues the story to them. He may need some legal persuasion from time to time but he will pay up when he can. P.S. he will always hide money from you and try to get out of payments from time to time. He won't change. He will take the kid/s when it fits his work schedule.
3. This is your average D-bag. He will pay but not on time ever and your continually chasing after him. This is because he like the attention from his ex and every time he talks or texts her he still feels like he's a part of her life. This guy can't let go and will be a challenge to get any peace with him. RESTRAINING ORDER!
So I hope you got a touch of insight into the brain of the many stages of Douche-dome.
Ciao for Now
In all separation and eventually divorce agreements both parties agree to certain terms and the government has the amount the spouse has to pay all down in a convenient little pamphlet that was handed to me when I entered the process of separation.
So how do these douche bags get out of paying? Maybe because they weren't really men to begin with and are terrible fathers. They don't see how it can hurt the spouse looking for the money to pay for the necessities of everyday living. Same amount as when they were a couple together but just in one or two lump sums per month.
Ok so I will spell it out for you about why they won't pay from a mans perspective without holding back. Turn off NCIS and put the phone on silent and read with the hope you can understand the guys mindset.
1. He's a Super Douche and makes a lot of money and doesn't want to pay a dime because he spent a shitload of money fighting every point during the divorce and wants to lash back. No matter how many parenting after separation courses he takes this D-bag will deny cash to hurt everyone so they hope they feel the pain he went through during the divorce. He also likes the feeling of being in control of the situation and enjoys the frustration it brings his ex. Also this man won't take the kid/s when he's supposed to.
2. He's a Tres Douche and makes a good living and pays a little here and a little there. This sort has a little bit of a conscience about his kids and wants to see them. He makes up stories about his work and the amount he makes and makes a big deal about all the bills he has to pay. He also doesn't want his parents and siblings think he's a douche so he continues the story to them. He may need some legal persuasion from time to time but he will pay up when he can. P.S. he will always hide money from you and try to get out of payments from time to time. He won't change. He will take the kid/s when it fits his work schedule.
3. This is your average D-bag. He will pay but not on time ever and your continually chasing after him. This is because he like the attention from his ex and every time he talks or texts her he still feels like he's a part of her life. This guy can't let go and will be a challenge to get any peace with him. RESTRAINING ORDER!
So I hope you got a touch of insight into the brain of the many stages of Douche-dome.
Ciao for Now
Monday, September 20, 2010
Porn! Now I Got Your Attention
So porn is everywhere and anywhere you want to get it. From the standard video tape or DVD to the internet on your computer,or if you have more urges than others, your cell phone is just as handy.
So how much is too much? Or is there never enough?
It's everywhere clearly. We buy and sell products based on sex and sexuality. Like ya don't know that one.
Lets look at that. Would you buy AXE body spray if an average guy on the commercials wasn't being mobbed by hot women? Or would you buy the perfume if you could get the hunky half dressed man like in the magazines? And why do they always look so tired in those pictures? Lying on each other or on horses lying down on them. Or even lying on the sand. That just makes me itchy looking at the picture.
Would the same sales technique work for products like Coke or Hershey's? Like imagine a couple is rolling around on the beach in the surf and you see a close up of them kissing and he reaches up and drinks a coke. Sexy? Yeah... no.
So I guess the question then comes down to, does sex define you? Who you are and what you buy and every aspect of your life? Do we see so much sexuality and images in our day to day lifestyle that sex becomes harder. Like trying to live up to the fantasies made up in your own mind or by media.
My final question is, if sex is already complicated now how will our kids feel when newer and crazier influences will be front and center in their lives. Will it be too much pressure on them to be the perfect lovers?
Ok you let me know when you can solve some of these pressing questions. And I will do the same for you.
Ciao for Now
So how much is too much? Or is there never enough?
It's everywhere clearly. We buy and sell products based on sex and sexuality. Like ya don't know that one.
Lets look at that. Would you buy AXE body spray if an average guy on the commercials wasn't being mobbed by hot women? Or would you buy the perfume if you could get the hunky half dressed man like in the magazines? And why do they always look so tired in those pictures? Lying on each other or on horses lying down on them. Or even lying on the sand. That just makes me itchy looking at the picture.
Would the same sales technique work for products like Coke or Hershey's? Like imagine a couple is rolling around on the beach in the surf and you see a close up of them kissing and he reaches up and drinks a coke. Sexy? Yeah... no.
So I guess the question then comes down to, does sex define you? Who you are and what you buy and every aspect of your life? Do we see so much sexuality and images in our day to day lifestyle that sex becomes harder. Like trying to live up to the fantasies made up in your own mind or by media.
My final question is, if sex is already complicated now how will our kids feel when newer and crazier influences will be front and center in their lives. Will it be too much pressure on them to be the perfect lovers?
Ok you let me know when you can solve some of these pressing questions. And I will do the same for you.
Ciao for Now
Saturday, September 18, 2010
New Beginnings
So I have taken some time out from blogging getting my life back to some semblance of order out of the chaos of the last year and a bit. Now is the time to start new.
It is quite a mind bending experience going through a separation and divorce. You think about everything that had gone wrong and what you could have done more to make it work.
The conclusion I have made out of all of this is you can make all the effort you want but if one of you in the relationship isn't giving their full effort than it is doomed for failure.
Also you as an individual try to place the blame on the other person. You think you did all that you could and the other person didn't make an effort. Took the easy way out. And all the other excuses you can think of.
Then you actually go through the thought process about all the things you did wrong and how you were the failure in the relationship. And that takes some time to get through those thoughts.
Like it or hate it both of you screwed it up. One could have done worse that the other sure. But it's how you got to that spot in the first place.
Once all that has been computed then your ready to start your life again. It has to be one of the worst trips through your own being one can take.
I believe if you hadn't taken this trip through your brain and continue on like nothing wrong ever happened then you haven't learned anything and every relationship after that will be doomed to fail.
Yeah this is just my thoughts but I hope they helped.
Ciao for Now
It is quite a mind bending experience going through a separation and divorce. You think about everything that had gone wrong and what you could have done more to make it work.
The conclusion I have made out of all of this is you can make all the effort you want but if one of you in the relationship isn't giving their full effort than it is doomed for failure.
Also you as an individual try to place the blame on the other person. You think you did all that you could and the other person didn't make an effort. Took the easy way out. And all the other excuses you can think of.
Then you actually go through the thought process about all the things you did wrong and how you were the failure in the relationship. And that takes some time to get through those thoughts.
Like it or hate it both of you screwed it up. One could have done worse that the other sure. But it's how you got to that spot in the first place.
Once all that has been computed then your ready to start your life again. It has to be one of the worst trips through your own being one can take.
I believe if you hadn't taken this trip through your brain and continue on like nothing wrong ever happened then you haven't learned anything and every relationship after that will be doomed to fail.
Yeah this is just my thoughts but I hope they helped.
Ciao for Now
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
OFFLINE
I will be offline and trying to get back when I get internet in my new residence. I will try and post stuff as soon as I can for you all.
Ciao for Now
Ciao for Now
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
SEX RANT !
So what kind of sexual person are you? And what does your flavor and appetite say about you? Is it even important to you anymore?
Well lets talk about the first topic shall we. Sex and what type of sexual person are you? Are you the one who likes to hold hands and maybe give a peck on the lips while walking in the park? Or are you the type to tell that partner your walking with how fun it would be to come back and have sex on the park bench?
We all get caught up in what kind of sexual person we are and what our comfort levels are when it comes to it. To talk about having sex on the bench at night in the park doesn't make you weird or different from everyone else just makes you adventurous. Trying to keep the spice of the relationship going while trying different things. Good on ya because he/she might be really into it. Also if he/she wants to do that stuff you might be in with a super freak that will make all your dirty little thoughts come true. Or make them want to run right out into traffic. You have to be the judge.
If your the type who can only peck the person your with on the lips in public your alright and there is nothing wrong with you either. There are a lot of people who would rather be sexual dynamo's in the bedroom and be reserved in the public eye. They are the ones people say "He/she was such a quiet person". Serial killer quiet. But when your alone with the person they turn into the porn king/queen that likes to do stuff that would make Larry Flint blush. Stuff in your mind that might actually make you go blind.
So how does this relate to your flavor. I have heard the term "vanilla" meaning straight up intercourse. So what do the other flavors represent? Well lets make it up as we go. So chocolate could mean the obvious and having sex with a brown or black person. Then there is strawberry. So maybe that means being with a ginger person. Either that or having sex during a menstrual cycle. And what about blueberry? Well that could mean that your having sex while watching the Smurfs or with a smurf.
It doesn't matter what flavor you are as long as your not hurting anyone. Unless they ask for that. But really we don't have to put these labels on it and just have fun with the one we can relate to the most and the best fit mentally and physically.
Ciao for now
Well lets talk about the first topic shall we. Sex and what type of sexual person are you? Are you the one who likes to hold hands and maybe give a peck on the lips while walking in the park? Or are you the type to tell that partner your walking with how fun it would be to come back and have sex on the park bench?
We all get caught up in what kind of sexual person we are and what our comfort levels are when it comes to it. To talk about having sex on the bench at night in the park doesn't make you weird or different from everyone else just makes you adventurous. Trying to keep the spice of the relationship going while trying different things. Good on ya because he/she might be really into it. Also if he/she wants to do that stuff you might be in with a super freak that will make all your dirty little thoughts come true. Or make them want to run right out into traffic. You have to be the judge.
If your the type who can only peck the person your with on the lips in public your alright and there is nothing wrong with you either. There are a lot of people who would rather be sexual dynamo's in the bedroom and be reserved in the public eye. They are the ones people say "He/she was such a quiet person". Serial killer quiet. But when your alone with the person they turn into the porn king/queen that likes to do stuff that would make Larry Flint blush. Stuff in your mind that might actually make you go blind.
So how does this relate to your flavor. I have heard the term "vanilla" meaning straight up intercourse. So what do the other flavors represent? Well lets make it up as we go. So chocolate could mean the obvious and having sex with a brown or black person. Then there is strawberry. So maybe that means being with a ginger person. Either that or having sex during a menstrual cycle. And what about blueberry? Well that could mean that your having sex while watching the Smurfs or with a smurf.
It doesn't matter what flavor you are as long as your not hurting anyone. Unless they ask for that. But really we don't have to put these labels on it and just have fun with the one we can relate to the most and the best fit mentally and physically.
Ciao for now
Monday, July 19, 2010
Stampede is Over Time to Blog
So the craziness of the Stampede is over for another year. All the lights on the rides have been turned off. The cowboy hats and boots put away for another year. And the mini donuts and beer are turning into a memory.
So what does this all mean for the average joe working day to day in this city of Stampede sin?
Well it's time to wrap up any business. Which means dealing with what happened at Ranchman's that night with that certain Stampede fling. Or not. Figuring out how to detox your body to adjust back into the work schedule of daily life. Trying to deal with the fact that debauchery and beer is done for yet another year.
Let's talk about the Stampede fling for a moment. Divorce lawyers love the Stampede. It has a huge impact on their business level within a month of Stampede finishing. Either because he/she has been caught in some incriminating photo that can't be explained. Or a text is found that seems very inappropriate. Or the fling turns out to be more and continues on to become a serious affair. Ultimately it ends the same way and off to the lawyers you go. On to the next oil bunny who wants to land a man that can take care of her.
If the Stampede can create so much sin why aren't the churches protesting it like PETA or Humane society does? Are they a part of the secret society of the Stampede and get more followers after the park has closed? Flooding their pews to be absolved of the sin that they had brought upon themselves? In hopes that if they make peace with it that it never happened? Or is there a bigger plot there?
Let's look at that for a moment. Gambling is a sin according to the local bishop here and he has been very vocal about the fact that a school can't even have a Bingo to raise money for their school. Yet when this yearly event comes along he doesn't say anything. Does he go on vacation and in his mind it's outta sight and outta mind so it really didn't happen? Or is he a part of a bigger plot against his own flock? Maybe a local large donation by an unknown donor that makes it's way into the churches coffers? The bishop knows there are a few things that happen during Stampede. Drinking,adultery,gambling,and coveting thy neighbors wife. Like how I pulled that one out of my hat? So that means looking at the ladies in a lewd and sexual mindset. So why hasn't he said anything against all the sin?
Am I against the Stampede? No. If people could enjoy the events that surround the biggest outdoor show on earth and not succumb to their desires and fall into the drunken, horny, people ogling idiots, we could have an event that makes everyone proud to be a part of. But it usually turns into the den of sin we all know and love to be a part of because it brings so many crazy stories. And yes there will be stories. Human nature can't help itself and the need to share with the co workers what they had seen at the company party takes over and for weeks the rumors fly around about the people who had messed around that night or the person who got so drunk they couldn't stand and eventually puked on their bosses shoes.
Don't get me wrong I enjoy the Stampede events and think it can be a great time for a single man/woman or family that is looking for some fun in the city. Great pancake breakfasts and music that everyone can enjoy. Stampede rides and rodeo events that test the metal of cowboys/cowgirls. All great fun.
So in closing I guess what I am saying is if we take the time to think before we act then the sins of the Stampede won't happen. We take the time to think that I really shouldn't drink another beer. I shouldn't try and dance with that person looking at me. Or I shouldn't put my tongue down this persons throat because we just met and I have a significant other. The gambling I can understand. Sorry Bishop Henry tough sell there to a non catholic. But the mind get s fuzzy as time goes by through the year. And as the next years Stampede gets closer the thoughts of what could happen at the next ten days of debauchery start to dance in their head like it's Christmas in July. And the cycle repeats itself. Because after all were human and temptation is hard to turn down when you have ten Bud in your gut and she has been eying your big buckle all night. Just like in the "Lion King", it's the circle of life.
Ciao for now
So what does this all mean for the average joe working day to day in this city of Stampede sin?
Well it's time to wrap up any business. Which means dealing with what happened at Ranchman's that night with that certain Stampede fling. Or not. Figuring out how to detox your body to adjust back into the work schedule of daily life. Trying to deal with the fact that debauchery and beer is done for yet another year.
Let's talk about the Stampede fling for a moment. Divorce lawyers love the Stampede. It has a huge impact on their business level within a month of Stampede finishing. Either because he/she has been caught in some incriminating photo that can't be explained. Or a text is found that seems very inappropriate. Or the fling turns out to be more and continues on to become a serious affair. Ultimately it ends the same way and off to the lawyers you go. On to the next oil bunny who wants to land a man that can take care of her.
If the Stampede can create so much sin why aren't the churches protesting it like PETA or Humane society does? Are they a part of the secret society of the Stampede and get more followers after the park has closed? Flooding their pews to be absolved of the sin that they had brought upon themselves? In hopes that if they make peace with it that it never happened? Or is there a bigger plot there?
Let's look at that for a moment. Gambling is a sin according to the local bishop here and he has been very vocal about the fact that a school can't even have a Bingo to raise money for their school. Yet when this yearly event comes along he doesn't say anything. Does he go on vacation and in his mind it's outta sight and outta mind so it really didn't happen? Or is he a part of a bigger plot against his own flock? Maybe a local large donation by an unknown donor that makes it's way into the churches coffers? The bishop knows there are a few things that happen during Stampede. Drinking,adultery,gambling,and coveting thy neighbors wife. Like how I pulled that one out of my hat? So that means looking at the ladies in a lewd and sexual mindset. So why hasn't he said anything against all the sin?
Am I against the Stampede? No. If people could enjoy the events that surround the biggest outdoor show on earth and not succumb to their desires and fall into the drunken, horny, people ogling idiots, we could have an event that makes everyone proud to be a part of. But it usually turns into the den of sin we all know and love to be a part of because it brings so many crazy stories. And yes there will be stories. Human nature can't help itself and the need to share with the co workers what they had seen at the company party takes over and for weeks the rumors fly around about the people who had messed around that night or the person who got so drunk they couldn't stand and eventually puked on their bosses shoes.
Don't get me wrong I enjoy the Stampede events and think it can be a great time for a single man/woman or family that is looking for some fun in the city. Great pancake breakfasts and music that everyone can enjoy. Stampede rides and rodeo events that test the metal of cowboys/cowgirls. All great fun.
So in closing I guess what I am saying is if we take the time to think before we act then the sins of the Stampede won't happen. We take the time to think that I really shouldn't drink another beer. I shouldn't try and dance with that person looking at me. Or I shouldn't put my tongue down this persons throat because we just met and I have a significant other. The gambling I can understand. Sorry Bishop Henry tough sell there to a non catholic. But the mind get s fuzzy as time goes by through the year. And as the next years Stampede gets closer the thoughts of what could happen at the next ten days of debauchery start to dance in their head like it's Christmas in July. And the cycle repeats itself. Because after all were human and temptation is hard to turn down when you have ten Bud in your gut and she has been eying your big buckle all night. Just like in the "Lion King", it's the circle of life.
Ciao for now
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Old Flings are New Again
This is an interesting question that was brought up last week. Can old flings or girl/boy friends come around again and things work out the second time around? Well I guess we should take a look at my example of my old girlfriend and see what we can make of this query.
So as I wrote before everything with my old girlfriend got messed up and complicated and we broke up. But ever since we have been good friends and always had a bond there.The question then arises. Could the second time around then be better?
Well like any relationship you think about it a lot. And if one fails you think about how did it go so wrong and was any of it your fault. Of course these thoughts went through my head when om relationship fell apart with my old girlfriend. You think what did I do or didn't do. Was I paying enough attention to her or not enough. Did I put in the effort that was needed to keep it new and fresh. And maybe the biggest question of all is "Was she the one?".
Of course there is the other side of the coin as well. What happened? Why did she not do this or that? If I have to leave the seat down why can't you leave the seat up? Or look before you sit.Or maybe did she pay enough attention to me or too much and was smothering.
Of course all good questions and now whats the right answer? Well I think that with time comes the answers for every question. You think and rethink about what happened and it has to be better the second time around. As long as you have the right mindset to try and do it right the second time around. Or if you have the maturity to understand what it is that you need to do to make it work this time round.
So now that's as clear as mud. Right? Let us recap.
No if you don't have the maturity or the knowledge of what went wrong in the first place.
Yes if you learned from it and do want it to work so bad you have aches deep down in your heart. You know what needs to be done this time and will work at it harder.
So you see the answer lies with you and how much work and dedication you are willing to put into it. If your not wiling to put everything into it you have then don't waste her or your time.
I guess that's all for friendly advice.
Ciao for now
So as I wrote before everything with my old girlfriend got messed up and complicated and we broke up. But ever since we have been good friends and always had a bond there.The question then arises. Could the second time around then be better?
Well like any relationship you think about it a lot. And if one fails you think about how did it go so wrong and was any of it your fault. Of course these thoughts went through my head when om relationship fell apart with my old girlfriend. You think what did I do or didn't do. Was I paying enough attention to her or not enough. Did I put in the effort that was needed to keep it new and fresh. And maybe the biggest question of all is "Was she the one?".
Of course there is the other side of the coin as well. What happened? Why did she not do this or that? If I have to leave the seat down why can't you leave the seat up? Or look before you sit.Or maybe did she pay enough attention to me or too much and was smothering.
Of course all good questions and now whats the right answer? Well I think that with time comes the answers for every question. You think and rethink about what happened and it has to be better the second time around. As long as you have the right mindset to try and do it right the second time around. Or if you have the maturity to understand what it is that you need to do to make it work this time round.
So now that's as clear as mud. Right? Let us recap.
No if you don't have the maturity or the knowledge of what went wrong in the first place.
Yes if you learned from it and do want it to work so bad you have aches deep down in your heart. You know what needs to be done this time and will work at it harder.
So you see the answer lies with you and how much work and dedication you are willing to put into it. If your not wiling to put everything into it you have then don't waste her or your time.
I guess that's all for friendly advice.
Ciao for now
Friday, July 2, 2010
It's Your Say!
I have been deciding lately what People want to hear. There has been issues with some that say I shouldn't be candid and diary like in the blogs. Some say the posts are personal and they feel uncomfortable reading the blog.
What do you think? I want to know how the past posts make you feel and does it help to communicate these collection of thoughts?
Do you have anything in particular that you would like to read about if you don't want to read personal topics?
This is supposed to be a helpful blog and one of sharing experiences with each other and maybe it can help someone out there that may be going through anything similar that I have written about in the past.
It is hard to decide if this blog is helping people or not. That's why I am asking for your help. Should I just abandon this blog all together and try something else?
Make a comment and tell me what you think.
Ciao for now
What do you think? I want to know how the past posts make you feel and does it help to communicate these collection of thoughts?
Do you have anything in particular that you would like to read about if you don't want to read personal topics?
This is supposed to be a helpful blog and one of sharing experiences with each other and maybe it can help someone out there that may be going through anything similar that I have written about in the past.
It is hard to decide if this blog is helping people or not. That's why I am asking for your help. Should I just abandon this blog all together and try something else?
Make a comment and tell me what you think.
Ciao for now
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Getting It Done
I have been writing the unedited version of what happened to me last year up til now and am almost done. I will post it soon. A lot of stuff to write and its gonna be long I'm afraid.
Ciao for now
Ciao for now
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