Masterbation - Pullin' the Pork !

Well lets try and talk about the thing we all do but don't talk about or say that we do. Hmmmm. You got the parts right? And you never tried it? LIAR. During the teen years I bet there wasn't a time alone when the hands did a little walk around the nether regions for some self support and soothing from that days frustrations.

Lets talk first about the ways we say masturbation. Here we go.

Spank the monkey
Floggin' the dolphin
Playing the slot machine
Shucking the corn
Jerkin the gherkin
Whack a mole
Choking the chicken
Slapping the salami
Pocket Pool
Beat your meat
Whack off
Rub one out
Self texting
Making pants Jam

I can go on and on and on. If you look online you can find a slew of euphemisms for polishing the pawn. And a side note. It is interesting we make the association to food and animals though.

So like I mentioned before people do it in their teens as a soothing measure to help them through their awkwardness and the exploding hormones. It has the same effect when a toddler too. Reports of girls riding the rails of their crib for pleasure were associated with a disruptive home life. So the doctors associate giving self pleasure with soothing ones self. Or the craving for affection or touch or the only way a teenager can turn around his/her day from the daily pressures or fluctuating hormones.

So then we grow up and we find out about battery powered toys for women and flesh-lights for men. Taking the masturbation to another level. Then you might even discover you can have more than one orgasm for men and there is that mystical unicorn they call a g-spot in women. And their friends weren't boasting about having multiple orgasms. And doctors on tv or radio discuss things like partner masturbation. Hell there is an actual International masturbation day. Who knew? Oh yeah I did. LoL.

Then you get to a place in your life where you look at what you have been doing lately and discover not only are you having sex with a partner but you have been stroking the bishop in your spare time? What the heck? Another increase in hormones?
No it is just the case of having sex with your partner and maybe your daily pressures of life has you self soothing yourself. Everyone goes through it and your not alone.

Ok and now this is the part I hate. The religious point of view of polishing the knob. Well in the scripture, I was recently told, these morons write that spilling the seed is immoral and a sin. Well I never believed much in the bible. And I accept all faiths. But that part just doesn't make sense. To give one pleasure is a sin? Guess they were a bunch of sheep herders and they had their flock to keep them warm if ya know what I'm saying. But to say you can't soothe the staff by yourself without it being a sin that you have to confess to the church dude is ridiculous. Maybe they priest should have choked the chicken more. Then the alter boys at some churches would be safe from a greater sin.

In the culture of sex and sexuality it is now more excepted in the western culture to do it. For one reason or another it is okay. If anyone tells you it isn't they need to try it once for themselves and then make the judgment.

So why did I write about this topic in the first place. Well I was asked to write it by a reader of the blog. I hope it lives up to her expectations.

Last thing I have to say that if you don't know how to pleasure yourself then how do you expect someone else to pleasure you.

Ciao for Now