When Is Enough Just Enough

OK this is a tough story to tell but I will try and do it justice.

Today I was doing the follow up story about an elderly couple who had gone missing last Thursday after a 91st birthday party. So a full week has gone by and nobody had heard from them or knew where they were. The police were searching all over the place and with their helicopter and everything.

Then early at 7am ish we got a report that the couples car was found and so was some unidentified bodies a few kilometers away. Remember the cops have to inform the next of kin before they identify the bodies to the press.

Off we go. In the truck and driving forty kilometers west of Water Valley.. While were getting close to the destination the road turns into a gravel road about four lanes in some places and well maintained for a gravel road. We then came to an immediate stop where the turn off to the site where the car was located. The road we were on went well into the west. Then we turned down the side strip of a road. It was as wide as the truck and in very rough shape and huge puddles and a sheer drop off on the drivers side when going into the bush. The police said the car went seven kilometers into this mess. In spots the truck I was driving only went ten kms because of the ruts and puddles. They were driving an older sedan which would have been terrible bumpy.

In my mind I can't see the reasoning behind ever taking a car this route unless there was a specific reason to do so. It was a one way ticket.

They found the bodies three kms from the vehicle. This makes it all very confusing to some why they would drive that route. But brings into question of what if?

What if they just went for their final drive together into the deep heart of the woods to finish off their lives together. Let me make this clear right now that the examination to this date of writing has not been released yet to the media and from here on out is just speculation.

So my theory is that they had the party. (they didn't clean up anything from the party)And when everyone left they got into their car and just drove as far out into the woods as they could. They spent the night sitting and talking in the car until the gas ran out. And then they took some medication and walked away from the car. And eventually they both dropped. (They were found thirty meters away from each other). This may have been planned for them to be eventually be dragged off by an animal and never seen again by their families. Which may be because they didn't want to live in pain and they didn't want to be a burdon to their families.

I know it's too early to speculate but that is my theory.

So is it right to give those the choice to take their own lives if their suffering greatly outweighs the alternative?

Tough discussion.

That's it for me
Ciao for now

Whats Next ?

So it looks like there are people reading my little rants. Well good and welcome. This is where real literature goes to die.

So it seems today i go to my intuition class and the woman who had mislead me at the pool party will be there. Awkward! Oh you don't remember reading about this woman? Let's refresh your memory.

Were at a pool party and getting along good. Were in the pool and rather close. I go get a drink and get distracted by someone talking to me. I return and she's making out with her ex. Short sweet and just the facts.

On the whole,this is going to be so uncomfortable today. Probably for the both of us. She will look at me and I will look at her and never should our eyes meet. And if they do then you have to look away quickly so as not to show interest. Even at this age (38)the same teenage games are played out. Is there a time when this all stops? For the love of god can't she just tell me straight out what happened, instead of keeping this all bottled up and making it uncomfortable for the both of us?

I dislike having those uncomfortable chats don't get me wrong. Whoever is at fault and trying to explain has to open up and bear their selves. This of course leaves them defenceless against any attack and people try to protect themselves and whats inside from the outside world. I guess the common theme is I will let someone in to my life and into my head, a little, but not too deep. If you let them in deep into your head and soul you have nothing left for yourself. Can you share that much?

I would like you to think of the most perfect couple in the world. Could be any couple. Then look at them and ask yourself if they have some of themselves held back a little or did they open up like a book to their partner and shared everything. Their hopes and dreams. Hates and fears. Most embarrassing moment in their lives. Their kinks and fantasies.

Could you open up that much to someone your interested in? Does that take years to let loose all the little facts of your life to find commonality? Or do you just sit down and spill everything at once and watch as the person your telling curls up in a little ball and turns white at all the details. Of course that means they are relating what your saying to their own lives and realizing they might have more screwed up details than you and what then does that make them?

So many questions and so many answers.

I think just let it out as it comes and be honest and if they are scared about how messed up you are then there is the door. This is your life and your living it as best you can.

Ciao for now

This is Bad Luck

So now were all caught up from last year to present. Everyone I know had a terrible year last year and it didn't even have anything to do with the economy. More personal reasons. Ok I guess some people had financial troubles.
It all happened one night. LoL. Great start for a story eh? But in this case it did.
I was invited to a pool party at the house of the clairvoyant teacher I have been taking classes from. And most of her students were in attendance. I have been sorta interested in a woman that has been in the same class. So of course being at a party with alcohol and a pool that is kept at a beautiful ninety eight degrees....... well you fill in the blanks. No? Ok I'll do it for you.
I am a friendly guy and an ok conversationalist. But when alcohol is involved I am more animated and like to talk and have more confidence. What a suprise. Booze equals confidence.
So KJ (the host of the party) saw me glance at this woman and instantly said " Your single and so is she. You should get to know her".
"Danger Will Robinson, danger". That's a movie reference from "Lost in Space" for those who thought I have just lost it.
Danger indeed. I am there. She is there. And I am still vulnerable. And yes I am a little scared. Come forth Crown Royal and give me the courage to entice yon damsel.
So two drinks in I start to strike up the conversation. And to my suprise she actually had some interest in what I am saying. Yes me. It was hard to believe myself. Not that I have low self esteem but. Well.
Lets back it up a bit and describe her I guess. She is about average height with very pretty eyes and hair. A smile that makes you feel good looking at it. Oh yeah did I mention she was interested in what I had to say and had a heartbeat. No really she is very pretty and I thought out of my league.
So were back to talking and drinking. She is talking to me and were having a pretty good time. And then to a suprise to me she suggested to get into our bathing suits and get in the pool. Well you don't have to ask me twice. Off with the day clothes and into a swim suit as fast as I could. And I was not disappointed when I came out of the bathroom to see her. Yes I was taken aback a bit at the sight of her. This was the second bit of good luck. So off to the pool with the drinks. And to be funny here for a second. Things went swimmingly.
You know how I said that I may jump around with the stories? That's because I have no idea how to write and I am doing this all from just hitting the keys in an order that makes sense to me. So maybe I should apologize to those literary guru's that can write circles around me. But here comes the rest of the story.
I have to back it up once again and give the one little detail that I found out the next day. Another guy who attends the class arrived and yes he is attractive. SUPRISE. They dated.
No at this point I am clueless to this fact and we are having a good time in the pool talking and I have been listening intently. Yes I was. Don't judge me. And even made her drinks.We were getting to know each other and while in the water she was sitting on my knee with my arm around her. Sounds good? Just wait here it comes.
Tall and handsome bad boy type she was seeing ,decided he was also going into the pool too. Can you see where this is going? No? Ok I will fill in the final chapter of this saga.
I recall that I was getting a refill for us both and went into the house. And while making drinks it seems that she and he decided to get talking. And by the time I got back to the pool she and he were close talking. You know that type of close talking that sends the direct signal that I was intruding. So at that time I decided to drop off her drink and make up an excuse that I had to talk to KJ our teacher for a minute. Hoping that the conversation they were having was about closure and they needed their space for five minutes.
So I went inside to give them some space and work it out. Now when I said "IT" I didn't mean "IT". As in his penis. Yup I said PENIS. PENIS,PENIS,PENIS. What a silly sounding word.
So it seems like I was inside for a full two minute when I glanced out the window to see...........yup you guessed it. They were kissing. Kissing and grinding in the pool.
At this point it had just become very apparent to me that this situation has become very uncomfortable.
To put it simply I changed and said my thank you's and left the party with just a little bit of a complex. Bring on the therapy.
So what do you think? Yup. Same as I thought. WTF?
Ok that's the story for today. Come back and try to read the next story without wanting to smash your computer for sheer hatred of what I have done to the english language.