My Last Post

The Child Support topic from the last post got a lot of attention. So I want to leave it for now and let people comment and learn from each other one more day. Thanks for those who gave feedback.

To Pay Or Not To Pay ?

More and more over the last year and a half I have been hearing from women and their experiences with men who won't pay child support when they divorce. And lately I have been hearing it more frequently. Is this an epidemic of assholes out there? Have they found some kind of loophole that I am not aware of? Not that I wouldn't pay. It is only hurting the kids. Right?

In all separation and eventually divorce agreements both parties agree to certain terms and the government has the amount the spouse has to pay all down in a convenient little pamphlet that was handed to me when I entered the process of separation.

So how do these douche bags get out of paying? Maybe because they weren't really men to begin with and are terrible fathers. They don't see how it can hurt the spouse looking for the money to pay for the necessities of everyday living. Same amount as when they were a couple together but just in one or two lump sums per month.

Ok so I will spell it out for you about why they won't pay from a mans perspective without holding back. Turn off NCIS and put the phone on silent and read with the hope you can understand the guys mindset.

1. He's a Super Douche and makes a lot of money and doesn't want to pay a dime because he spent a shitload of money fighting every point during the divorce and wants to lash back. No matter how many parenting after separation courses he takes this D-bag will deny cash to hurt everyone so they hope they feel the pain he went through during the divorce. He also likes the feeling of being in control of the situation and enjoys the frustration it brings his ex. Also this man won't take the kid/s when he's supposed to.

2. He's a Tres Douche and makes a good living and pays a little here and a little there. This sort has a little bit of a conscience about his kids and wants to see them. He makes up stories about his work and the amount he makes and makes a big deal about all the bills he has to pay. He also doesn't want his parents and siblings think he's a douche so he continues the story to them. He may need some legal persuasion from time to time but he will pay up when he can. P.S. he will always hide money from you and try to get out of payments from time to time. He won't change. He will take the kid/s when it fits his work schedule.

3. This is your average D-bag. He will pay but not on time ever and your continually chasing after him. This is because he like the attention from his ex and every time he talks or texts her he still feels like he's a part of her life. This guy can't let go and will be a challenge to get any peace with him. RESTRAINING ORDER!

So I hope you got a touch of insight into the brain of the many stages of Douche-dome.

Ciao for Now

New Beginnings

So I have taken some time out from blogging getting my life back to some semblance of order out of the chaos of the last year and a bit. Now is the time to start new.

It is quite a mind bending experience going through a separation and divorce. You think about everything that had gone wrong and what you could have done more to make it work.

The conclusion I have made out of all of this is you can make all the effort you want but if one of you in the relationship isn't giving their full effort than it is doomed for failure.

Also you as an individual try to place the blame on the other person. You think you did all that you could and the other person didn't make an effort. Took the easy way out. And all the other excuses you can think of.

Then you actually go through the thought process about all the things you did wrong and how you were the failure in the relationship. And that takes some time to get through those thoughts.

Like it or hate it both of you screwed it up. One could have done worse that the other sure. But it's how you got to that spot in the first place.

Once all that has been computed then your ready to start your life again. It has to be one of the worst trips through your own being one can take.

I believe if you hadn't taken this trip through your brain and continue on like nothing wrong ever happened then you haven't learned anything and every relationship after that will be doomed to fail.

Yeah this is just my thoughts but I hope they helped.

Ciao for Now

Stampede is Over Time to Blog

So the craziness of the Stampede is over for another year. All the lights on the rides have been turned off. The cowboy hats and boots put away for another year. And the mini donuts and beer are turning into a memory.

So what does this all mean for the average joe working day to day in this city of Stampede sin?

Well it's time to wrap up any business. Which means dealing with what happened at Ranchman's that night with that certain Stampede fling. Or not. Figuring out how to detox your body to adjust back into the work schedule of daily life. Trying to deal with the fact that debauchery and beer is done for yet another year.

Let's talk about the Stampede fling for a moment. Divorce lawyers love the Stampede. It has a huge impact on their business level within a month of Stampede finishing. Either because he/she has been caught in some incriminating photo that can't be explained. Or a text is found that seems very inappropriate. Or the fling turns out to be more and continues on to become a serious affair. Ultimately it ends the same way and off to the lawyers you go. On to the next oil bunny who wants to land a man that can take care of her.

If the Stampede can create so much sin why aren't the churches protesting it like PETA or Humane society does? Are they a part of the secret society of the Stampede and get more followers after the park has closed? Flooding their pews to be absolved of the sin that they had brought upon themselves? In hopes that if they make peace with it that it never happened? Or is there a bigger plot there?

Let's look at that for a moment. Gambling is a sin according to the local bishop here and he has been very vocal about the fact that a school can't even have a Bingo to raise money for their school. Yet when this yearly event comes along he doesn't say anything. Does he go on vacation and in his mind it's outta sight and outta mind so it really didn't happen? Or is he a part of a bigger plot against his own flock? Maybe a local large donation by an unknown donor that makes it's way into the churches coffers? The bishop knows there are a few things that happen during Stampede. Drinking,adultery,gambling,and coveting thy neighbors wife. Like how I pulled that one out of my hat? So that means looking at the ladies in a lewd and sexual mindset. So why hasn't he said anything against all the sin?

Am I against the Stampede? No. If people could enjoy the events that surround the biggest outdoor show on earth and not succumb to their desires and fall into the drunken, horny, people ogling idiots, we could have an event that makes everyone proud to be a part of. But it usually turns into the den of sin we all know and love to be a part of because it brings so many crazy stories. And yes there will be stories. Human nature can't help itself and the need to share with the co workers what they had seen at the company party takes over and for weeks the rumors fly around about the people who had messed around that night or the person who got so drunk they couldn't stand and eventually puked on their bosses shoes.

Don't get me wrong I enjoy the Stampede events and think it can be a great time for a single man/woman or family that is looking for some fun in the city. Great pancake breakfasts and music that everyone can enjoy. Stampede rides and rodeo events that test the metal of cowboys/cowgirls. All great fun.

So in closing I guess what I am saying is if we take the time to think before we act then the sins of the Stampede won't happen. We take the time to think that I really shouldn't drink another beer. I shouldn't try and dance with that person looking at me. Or I shouldn't put my tongue down this persons throat because we just met and I have a significant other. The gambling I can understand. Sorry Bishop Henry tough sell there to a non catholic. But the mind get s fuzzy as time goes by through the year. And as the next years Stampede gets closer the thoughts of what could happen at the next ten days of debauchery start to dance in their head like it's Christmas in July. And the cycle repeats itself. Because after all were human and temptation is hard to turn down when you have ten Bud in your gut and she has been eying your big buckle all night. Just like in the "Lion King", it's the circle of life.

Ciao for now

When Is Enough Just Enough

OK this is a tough story to tell but I will try and do it justice.

Today I was doing the follow up story about an elderly couple who had gone missing last Thursday after a 91st birthday party. So a full week has gone by and nobody had heard from them or knew where they were. The police were searching all over the place and with their helicopter and everything.

Then early at 7am ish we got a report that the couples car was found and so was some unidentified bodies a few kilometers away. Remember the cops have to inform the next of kin before they identify the bodies to the press.

Off we go. In the truck and driving forty kilometers west of Water Valley.. While were getting close to the destination the road turns into a gravel road about four lanes in some places and well maintained for a gravel road. We then came to an immediate stop where the turn off to the site where the car was located. The road we were on went well into the west. Then we turned down the side strip of a road. It was as wide as the truck and in very rough shape and huge puddles and a sheer drop off on the drivers side when going into the bush. The police said the car went seven kilometers into this mess. In spots the truck I was driving only went ten kms because of the ruts and puddles. They were driving an older sedan which would have been terrible bumpy.

In my mind I can't see the reasoning behind ever taking a car this route unless there was a specific reason to do so. It was a one way ticket.

They found the bodies three kms from the vehicle. This makes it all very confusing to some why they would drive that route. But brings into question of what if?

What if they just went for their final drive together into the deep heart of the woods to finish off their lives together. Let me make this clear right now that the examination to this date of writing has not been released yet to the media and from here on out is just speculation.

So my theory is that they had the party. (they didn't clean up anything from the party)And when everyone left they got into their car and just drove as far out into the woods as they could. They spent the night sitting and talking in the car until the gas ran out. And then they took some medication and walked away from the car. And eventually they both dropped. (They were found thirty meters away from each other). This may have been planned for them to be eventually be dragged off by an animal and never seen again by their families. Which may be because they didn't want to live in pain and they didn't want to be a burdon to their families.

I know it's too early to speculate but that is my theory.

So is it right to give those the choice to take their own lives if their suffering greatly outweighs the alternative?

Tough discussion.

That's it for me
Ciao for now

Old Flame

Lets talk about someone in the past. I mean really long time ago. So long I am embarrassed to say. Well maybe like fifteen years. Yeah that's about right.

She was a beautiful redhead who was recently divorced and had some kids from the jackass she split from. She had spunk and fire. And was very sensuous.

That was my first foray at seeing a divorced woman. Pretty cool.We had a lot of fun and cared about each other deeply. And then I was gone. Yup I left to pursue a job out in Banff, working in the kitchen of the Banff Springs hotel.

That never sat great with me that I had to go. I always felt trapped in the little town I was living in. Watching other people trapped in the same town and rotting on the local bar stool wallowing away in their own urine stained clothes talking about what they did in their younger days. And that was just the twenty year olds. Yes the infamous trap of a little town that feels all warm and comfy because you know everyone and know everyone. At the same time they all knew you and your business too. But when in that trap you don't even notice the time slipping away and suddenly it's been two years since you have graduated college and you still aren't working in the field of study you took.

So frustrated I made a tough decision and left. Right or wrong I had to get the heck out and see what was in the rest of the world.

Then this little program that you might have heard of called Facebook comes around and all of a sudden everyone who I knew and barely remember are making friend requests. Accept,accept,accept. All of a sudden I have a ton of friends on this little interweb community. And then the day came that "she" found me. Do you remember when someone from your past tries to get to be your friend and you have some doubt because you don't know why they want to be your friend.

It turned out to be ok and we both grew from that time. Her kids all grew up and now I feel old because when I knew them they were just little. But that is a part of growing up I guess.

But what I didn't realize would happen is the old protective feelings towards her. Wanting to take care of her and be there for her to talk to when she is having a bad day. I guess you never really lose that feeling for the ones you cared for and that would be a shame if it did disappear.

So now communication with her is infrequent but there all the same. And we both probe into each others personal life. Making suggestions and feeling for each other when things are bad.

This leaves me at where I am right now. With her being in a great place with a full life. And she looks in on me from time to time.

So what would you have done? Stay because your comfortable in your small little town. Or Leave because you realize it's slowly strangling you to death? Dramatic I know but you get the picture.

Ciao for now.

A New Start for the Both of Us Part 2

So where did we leave off?
Ah yes the spending habits of my ex and the fact she spent 10 thousand in three months.
That brings us to the next part of the path to higher understanding that those who you think you know have a lot of secrets.
So the greed of my ex starts to come forth and I start to see how desperate she is to screw every last dime out of me.
We get our lawyers and start our process for the legal seperation. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was learning that my lawyer only did what she was told to do and didn't have an interest for my best interest. Just the quick resolution to the large paper workload that is the legal seperation. So she in fact didn't give any advice to the right path of the legal forest to get a fair shake in the massive debt load that was my married life that my ex was trying to stick me with.
Time out here. Yes it seems like this story is one sided but at the same time I am trying to be sensitive to all the tiny little actions and words that are like the arrows searching for their prey. Inflicting the most amount of pain and outright hatred while wearing a smile as she looks at the carcas bleeding out.
Hmmm I might have a flair for the dramatic in this rant after all. Hehehe
So back to the story.
Now both of us had come to an agreement. She wanted to move the kids to Waterloo with the 3rd love in one year. It all came down to the wire on the day of her moving and I settled with the best interest for the kids.
Now this is when you will ask the question " What the F**K were you thinking to allow that to happen?" . Ok here it goes. All my family is in Ontario. All her family is here. Her new guys family is all there.
She, as I have pointed out earlier, had neglected to pay bills which in turn does a remarkable thing to credit ratings. They disappear. I don't have the credit to get a simple credit card to this day. Yup. I can actually have 20 thousand dollars in the bank but when it comes to ask for a simple 1 thousand dollar credit card they actually look poorly upon this.
So also the simplicity of Waterloo and the lower cost of living and education was a great deal of importance as well and it seemed the best decision for my kids.
So for now they are living there and I call my kids when I can.
My ex on the other hand decided that she wasn't going to work for a year and stay with the kids. Yup. She's taking a year off from working and I have to work my butt off to keep afloat.
According to the courts because she was working part time for the year we were seperated this is legal cause to make the amount of the percentage towards the kids extra curricular activities greatly more in her favor. It actually comes to me paying %76 of all these costs.
The question this leaves me is where is the incentive for her to go back to work and do something constructive. Instead she is spending all her money that could be used to buy herself a new place. Maybe to sort out her head. Be alone for a bit to find herself. But no, that's not gonna happen.
This brings us to the present. I am currently awaiting for the courts to finalize my divorce and be free of this woman. The kids will be visiting soon and I can't wait to see them.
This is a short version of what went on in this year. I didn't tell you the details that would turn your stomach. Wondering what the heck is wrong with her head.
So now you have a synopsis of what I have been through this year. I will be blogging about real things and in the present from now on.
I know what your thinking. This guys thoughts and his writing format is terrible. Well that's what your get when someone who has always been learning different when it comes to english decides to write something. I'm not stupid but the way things appear to be correct format to me doesn't look or read correctly to others. Some days I am suprised I'm not wearing a hockey helmet out of hockey season and riding the special bus.
This is where I leave you for this entry. You know a little of my past year and will try to impress you with witty stories in the future.

A New Start for the Both of Us

Ok so here we go with this blogging stuff. This will be scattered and quite an experience for both me the writer and you the reader.
I am not a writer so it may seem all over the place in thoughts that run through my head. But lets give it a try.
So this has been the most incredible year of my life. That's not the good meaning of incredible either.
First I went through an ordeal with my ex wife cheating on me while I was out of town on a business trip. Then I found out she was actually doing it months before and had put an add in Kijiji looking for someone for a distraction.
You guessed it. I packed my things and left. Even though I have 2 kids and was very concerned for them I decided that by throwing her out would have been more disruptive in their lives. So I left.
Yes I know that wasn't the bravest thing to do but I had to weigh all my options and finally choose the one that didn't hurt them.
So at this point the question arose whats next. How about having to pay $2000 a month to the ex to make things easier for them til the house sold and the divorce commenced. Let me make this clear that it's a huge amount for me. And since we are disclosing everything and not leaving anything out here's the breakdown. $3800 per month is the take home pay. And $2000 is going to the ex and the kids in the house. That makes $800 for me right? That shouldn't be hard to get by on. Well this is when it gets complicated and the math doesn't work. $450 goes to rent. $200 for food. $100 is for gas. And so the $50 was left for incidentals. Goes fast doesn't it.
So onward. I had moved into an old house with a friend in a cold basement and when we plugged 2 or more things in it would blow a fuse. Great.
Next 8 months goes by and I am living tough and lost 20 lbs. And other things happened during that time that's hard to write about right now but maybe in future blogs it will all come out.
So back to it. 8 months go by and I am in Edmonton with a friend visiting and shopping at the big mall. Then the phone call comes and my roomie tells me that a pipe burst and all my stuff got wet and my room was destroyed and needed to be fully replaced. You guessed it. I have to find a new place to live. And fast.
Luckily that happened and another friend just happened to have room to spare. So the migration started slowly in my Chevy Optra. Not exactly the greatest moving vehicle.
Now here comes the interesting part. It so happens that the ex was spending more money than she was making or receiving at the time. That's not whats so suprising because she has been doing that since I met her. But what is suprising is that she racked up $10 thousand dollars in debt in three months and didn't pay bills and let the creditors start their phone calls to me.
So I come to learn the hard way that when it comes to this woman she always wanted to have what the neighbors had. So when there wasn't anyone to control her spending she just spent it.
Right now I will let this e as far as I write.
I guess this is what they call a cliffhanger and you will have to keep reading in the future to get the whole story. No matter how badly written.
See ya then