Old Flame

Lets talk about someone in the past. I mean really long time ago. So long I am embarrassed to say. Well maybe like fifteen years. Yeah that's about right.

She was a beautiful redhead who was recently divorced and had some kids from the jackass she split from. She had spunk and fire. And was very sensuous.

That was my first foray at seeing a divorced woman. Pretty cool.We had a lot of fun and cared about each other deeply. And then I was gone. Yup I left to pursue a job out in Banff, working in the kitchen of the Banff Springs hotel.

That never sat great with me that I had to go. I always felt trapped in the little town I was living in. Watching other people trapped in the same town and rotting on the local bar stool wallowing away in their own urine stained clothes talking about what they did in their younger days. And that was just the twenty year olds. Yes the infamous trap of a little town that feels all warm and comfy because you know everyone and know everyone. At the same time they all knew you and your business too. But when in that trap you don't even notice the time slipping away and suddenly it's been two years since you have graduated college and you still aren't working in the field of study you took.

So frustrated I made a tough decision and left. Right or wrong I had to get the heck out and see what was in the rest of the world.

Then this little program that you might have heard of called Facebook comes around and all of a sudden everyone who I knew and barely remember are making friend requests. Accept,accept,accept. All of a sudden I have a ton of friends on this little interweb community. And then the day came that "she" found me. Do you remember when someone from your past tries to get to be your friend and you have some doubt because you don't know why they want to be your friend.

It turned out to be ok and we both grew from that time. Her kids all grew up and now I feel old because when I knew them they were just little. But that is a part of growing up I guess.

But what I didn't realize would happen is the old protective feelings towards her. Wanting to take care of her and be there for her to talk to when she is having a bad day. I guess you never really lose that feeling for the ones you cared for and that would be a shame if it did disappear.

So now communication with her is infrequent but there all the same. And we both probe into each others personal life. Making suggestions and feeling for each other when things are bad.

This leaves me at where I am right now. With her being in a great place with a full life. And she looks in on me from time to time.

So what would you have done? Stay because your comfortable in your small little town. Or Leave because you realize it's slowly strangling you to death? Dramatic I know but you get the picture.

Ciao for now.

The Next Chapter

I, as you might have noticed, am an infrequent blogger.

Does this bother you? Do you really care that it's infrequent as long as there is something to read about once a week? I don't know.

Can I keep your attention once a week is the real question. There is going to be grammatical and format errors of course. I am not a writer and don't claim to be one. That takes a lot of hard work and practice at the craft of writing. Do I want to get good at it? No I just want to be able to convey my messages as I can and hope they make sense to you the reader. And yes I do apologize to any professional scribes for the scribbles of a man and his journey through this life.

So that brings me to today's story.

I told you previously about the mystery woman who I love and think she still loves me and the confusion I feel when I am around her and everything. (Go read now if your not familiar)

So I had to see her today and talk about something that has happened at work. Maybe it was just an excuse just to see her. If you knew who I was talking about you would be trying to see her too. Yes even women because she is easy to talk to and she makes you feel good.Hmmmmmmmmm. Yup I'm daydreaming and getting off topic.

There I was and talking about things and she keeps looking into me like she is trying to read what is deep inside my mind and what I am about. I don't mind since we shared so much in the past with each other. I even enjoy it for the simple reason that she is taking the interest to look at me that way. Am I a stalker in the making? No. I don't hang outside her house and see what she's gonna wear to bed or drive past her house like the real stalkers do.

This is the part of the story That I like.

We were done talking and I was about to return to work and she gives me a long loving hug. I know what your gonna say. "How do you know it was loving when I think it may have been creepy?"

Have you ever been hugged and the person doesn't let go and even gets a tighter grip. And in the middle of it they put their head on yours and inhale like they are smelling you for memory sake? Yeah that's what it was like. Nice.

So we went back to work and things felt better from then on today. Like all the irritations of the day were wiped away.

That is my ramblings for today. And I am inspired to try hard to make my blogging more frequent and legible to more than just me. And hopefully with as few run on sentences as possible.

Ciao for now