More and more over the last year and a half I have been hearing from women and their experiences with men who won't pay child support when they divorce. And lately I have been hearing it more frequently. Is this an epidemic of assholes out there? Have they found some kind of loophole that I am not aware of? Not that I wouldn't pay. It is only hurting the kids. Right?
In all separation and eventually divorce agreements both parties agree to certain terms and the government has the amount the spouse has to pay all down in a convenient little pamphlet that was handed to me when I entered the process of separation.
So how do these douche bags get out of paying? Maybe because they weren't really men to begin with and are terrible fathers. They don't see how it can hurt the spouse looking for the money to pay for the necessities of everyday living. Same amount as when they were a couple together but just in one or two lump sums per month.
Ok so I will spell it out for you about why they won't pay from a mans perspective without holding back. Turn off NCIS and put the phone on silent and read with the hope you can understand the guys mindset.
1. He's a Super Douche and makes a lot of money and doesn't want to pay a dime because he spent a shitload of money fighting every point during the divorce and wants to lash back. No matter how many parenting after separation courses he takes this D-bag will deny cash to hurt everyone so they hope they feel the pain he went through during the divorce. He also likes the feeling of being in control of the situation and enjoys the frustration it brings his ex. Also this man won't take the kid/s when he's supposed to.
2. He's a Tres Douche and makes a good living and pays a little here and a little there. This sort has a little bit of a conscience about his kids and wants to see them. He makes up stories about his work and the amount he makes and makes a big deal about all the bills he has to pay. He also doesn't want his parents and siblings think he's a douche so he continues the story to them. He may need some legal persuasion from time to time but he will pay up when he can. P.S. he will always hide money from you and try to get out of payments from time to time. He won't change. He will take the kid/s when it fits his work schedule.
3. This is your average D-bag. He will pay but not on time ever and your continually chasing after him. This is because he like the attention from his ex and every time he talks or texts her he still feels like he's a part of her life. This guy can't let go and will be a challenge to get any peace with him. RESTRAINING ORDER!
So I hope you got a touch of insight into the brain of the many stages of Douche-dome.
Ciao for Now
Great post! Thanks for being a man that understands it isn't about the adults it's about the children!! Your kids are very blessed!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the guy who makes $400 a week, has the kids half of the time and is still, by law, expected to pay $175 a week. How is that Dad supposed to look after his kids and his own bills?
ReplyDeleteOr the Dad that doesn't pay because he knows the kids aren't getting any use of it and still has to buy their school stuff and sports stuff over top of it but the mother has a new car, a $300K condo and a rich boyfriend.
Or the Dad that just lost his job and is on EI but still has the pay the amount specified when he was working?
I'm not knocking what you're saying AT ALL because I have friends who's kids have dead-beat Dads that spend their money on booze and drugs instead of their kids. But there are 2 or even sometimes 3 sides to every story. His, hers and the truth....
And how many mother's pay the custodial fathers child support? My Dad took me when he and my mother divorced and he never got a penny, or asked for any.
I don't have kids so of course I don't really understand the whole thing. But on the outside looking in, it seems to me that the money that Father's pay to the Mother's shouldn't go to the mother's but to the grocery stores, schools, extra-curricular and medical things that the kids need. Piss on the Mother or the Father really, just make sure the kids get what they need!
Hmmmm, that's pretty bad isn't it? Maybe I should have my own blog...LOL
The Government is too busy spending money on fluff-stuff to actually pay people to enforce the custody rights...
This is a game called "Starve the wife." If a husband is unhappy with some non-financial aspect of the divorce (such as child custody) he'll often hold back some or all of the child support payments in order to get her back into court.
ReplyDeleteThe stupid part is that the strategy works.
What about the guy who pays on time as he should and does the annual top ups with increases and bonuses? The ex wife is the bitchy douche who denies access to the child and finds way to frustrate access at every turn, while still asking for more money all the time.
ReplyDelete